If I can't have you

Chapter 13

Miranda found her hands shaking as she walked down the hall. She couldn't do this could she? She couldn't cause this family any more pain than what they were already going through. But she had to. She was the Chief of Surgery. She was in charge of this hospital and why all the hard choices had to be made by her. And this was one of those hard choices that her job required her to do. Reaching the door to the ICU room, she peaked in through the window before entering. Nico was lying in the bed, hand clenching and unclenching on top of the sheet. It was clear that he was in pain. Miranda knew from the regular updates that she demanded Amelia, Link and their team of nurses give her, that he had been maxed out on pain medication almost an hour ago.

Her heart broke for him. Nico Kim was not one to let anyone see his pain and suffering so by the simple fact that he was visibly in pain and letting people know meant that the pain must be extreme. Not to Miranda's surprise, Levi was there, curled up in the chair like a cat. His fingers were gently running through Nico's hair, clearly trying to sooth the pain. It was clearly ineffective but perhaps, Levi had been doing it for more than just pain relief. Perhaps he was doing it as a comforting gesture. To let Nico know that he was there and wasn't going to leave him as well as reassuring himself that his boyfriend was alive and well. Miranda closed her eyes, sending a quick prayer to God before pushing open the door. Levi's gaze flew immediately to the door, seeing if the person that was entering required him to move from his boyfriends side.

On seeing that it was Miranda, he moved to nudge Nico and persuade him to open his eyes. Miranda stopped him before that, gesturing to him to curl back up in his chair. She let a small smile cross her lips as Levi resettled, placing his hand in Nico's and giving it a small squeeze. It reminded her of her and Ben in the early day's of their relationship, young and full of hope. Prepared to face whatever the future had to throw at them. She sat down on a chair in the corner of the room and opened up the file that Meredith had given her.

She saw Levi's eyes flicker anxiously to the small folder and she gave him a weak smile. There was no way that she could soften the blow so she knew she had to get it out now, otherwise she never would. Letting out a sigh, Miranda opened her mouth and said, "Levi, Nico if your listening." Nico's eyes slowly flittered open at this point and in his sleepiness , his eyes drifted around the room for a few seconds before landing on Miranda. He gave her a pain filled nod to continue so she ploughed on before her courage abandoned her. "Nico, there is a possibility that your family could be going bankrupt." She could see the confusion fill his eyes. Her heart broke at the fact that she had to deliver this news but she decided to spare him pain further down the line and to tell him the full story. "The company that your parents insured you on when you turned eighteen went under about five months ago, just a few months before this accident of yours happened. The medical bills that you've created by being in here have been paid by them but they can't pay them anymore. They have nothing left."

The pain that was visible on Nico's face broke Miranda's heart even more than she already thought it could break. The poor boy didn't need any more suffering that what he had been through and what was already in front of him and Miranda hated to add to that pain and to that burden. She moved from the corner in which she had been sat and went to go stand by Nico. Up close, she could see more clearly the tears that were threatening to spill from Nico's eyes and how hard the boy was fighting to not let them. Not to show any weakness, not in front of anyone. She picked up the hand that Levi's was not occupying and gave it a tight squeeze, trying to convey a thousand emotions in a single second. Trying to convey courage, hope and the strength to get through the crap that life had decided to through at this kid. She honestly couldn't see any of her staff go through more heartbreak and drama and upset. It would kill her for sure, to lose someone, no matter who it was.