Belief in Miracles (completed)

Chapter 30: Sebastian

30 Sebastian

We returned to my house in silence. I had second thoughts about telling Summer all those details of my past as I watched her face. Her brows had been etched into a permanent V, her lips sunk into a pursed frown, as though she were seeing behind her eyes everything that I had told her. It gave me reason to regret telling her so much. She had her own life's trauma to deal with. She didn't need to shoulder mine. I should have known better.

But, at the same time, I was glad I had. Despite the carnage of my extremely sucky past, I was grateful for it. I would not have become the person I was without the trials. It was a severe lesson in what not to do, and I dared to say that I lived my life better and more fully as a result.

I sighed as I thought of it, smiled down at Summer who was sitting beside me on the couch. Her head was nestled into the crook of my arm, eyes absently watching the Scooby Doo rerun on TV. We had Chinese take-out on the way, with a warm fire lit in the hearth, and I squeezed her close, which urged her to look up at me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked, and her face finally lifted in a small smile.

"I was just thinking over everything you told me."

I nodded slowly. "I thought you might be. I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to upset you."

"You didn't." She insisted. "I just feel so bad for the life you've lived."

I shrugged as I lifted my real leg to the table and stretched it out. "It was only the last decade or so, and it was my own doing. Aside from my Dad being military strict, I had a good childhood. I was raised to go to church, a Catholic church, mind you, but at least I knew God. I had a two-parent, middle class home, and siblings to play with. I was the one that strayed, when college life got the best of me and never left." I shrugged again. "There's nothing to feel bad about. It was my fault."

"Still... Makes me feel like the most selfish person in the world to know that, up till meeting you, I had thought that no one's sob story could top my own. Then I hear yours..."

I scoffed and shook my head. "It's hardly a sob story. Just a story. A typical, been-there-done-that-now-it's-over, story."

"Then why did you want to tell me?"

Why did I want to tell her? Even I hadn't been sure of my motives when I'd gone spewing things from my mouth-volcano. Shrugging, I rested my cheek atop her head and stared into the dark kitchen. "I guess I just wanted you to know me. The real me."

"But I do know you."

I lifted my head to shake it. "You know the now me. The me I've become. You didn't know the me that I was before Jesus, and I guess... I felt like it was only fair to let you know what you were getting yourself into."

She huffed and craned her head to look up at me. "If this is what I'm getting into, then I'm okay with it."

Smiling, I leaned down and brushed my nose against hers. Her eyes closed as a smile crept along her face, and I matched it as I lightly kissed her forehead, her brows, the tip of her nose, her cheeks, her chin, then planted a quick peck to her lips just before pulling away.

"I love you." She breathed when she opened her eyes again, and I grinned.

"The feeling is extremely mutual, I assure you."

I dropped my leg from the table as the door was knocked on, and grabbed hold of the arm of the couch to lift myself up. After paying for the food and dishing it out, I brought it back to the coffee table, and we settled in for a night of chicken lo mein and Scooby Doo. Summer fell asleep on the couch a little after midnight, and I cleaned up the food before returning to her. I had half a mind to pick her up and carry her to my bed, wanting to feel her warmth beside me as we slept, but I resisted. The temptation would be more than I could bear.