there's a void that you're constantly trying to fill.
you try to keep yourself busy all the time.
god!
it's exhausting.
you wish you could be kinder to yourself.
you wish there was more time.
the only time you feel valid is when you're praised.
numbers matter to you.
you're in this constant state of "what the fuck am i doing?"
you chase the thrills because you think it fills THAT VOID.
well at least momentarily.
can time just be on pause.
slow down.
there's no time.
there's plenty.
no there isn't.
you're not even sure why you're doing this.
do you actually like that person?
goddamn stop giving me reasons not to like you. i want to.
you would never like me back though.
i should know better.
you should know better.
I AM SUFFOCATING.
nothing's happening.
you should be happy.
but no you're not.
because you're bored.
you're not distracted.
you can't feel alive.
FOCUS.
you have better things to do.
but why though?
is this even worth it?
a big maybe.
cry.
cry.
cry.
feel something.
wonder how it feels like to be in love.
you've never been in love.
and who's fault is that?
love? what is that about?
don't be stupid.
BETTER THINGS.
do you even have any plans?
GOD!!!! I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!
the minute you're not doing something.
these things hit.
you're wasting your time.
you always are.
sure. blame it on other people.
god it hurts.
so much.
stop thinking.
stop feeling.
stop.
breathe.
oh no you're crying again.
PLEASE. JUST.
breathe.
god give me a sign.
how do you do this?
whine about it.
you always do.
the momentum's gone huh?
you don't even like what you're doing anymore.
do you even know what you like?
what do you want?
- fin -
