Dancing With A God

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She was a fool. Running away from them like a frightened cat. She had refused to let her tears and her sadness be seen from her friends, she didn't want to show them how heartbroken she truly was. Because Quinn never went better. Her heart had been shattered and, even with all the love and the care someone could give, her mind would still be fissured.

She had tried for years to lie to herself, to pretend to be okay and be better. She had showed to the people around her she cherished deeply for everyone, she had let it slip as a matter of fact she was a shy but gentle girl who would never anger herself.

But none of that was true. She had hidden her true self to anyone she knew would be miserable if they knew the truth. But there was always a hint of sadness mixed with ire in her heart. She couldn't - and wouldn't, forget the event of that dire day of May. It was then that her life changed for the worst, that moment she saw the depth of human cruelty. Quinn had created with the year that followed an emotional mask, one who would hide anything she saw as cruel to be shown. And it at hold until now ; if we didn't count the old Boy who had seen her as who she was for real.

Old Boy, she mused, smirking. The surname she gave for the only person who truly thought of looking underneath the underneath.

For a queer reason, when she had first met him, that name came first in her mind, as if echoing on a long time forgotten memory. But she had never met her before, as it was only two years after the destruction of the city and before, back when she was still with her parents, she never went into the forest.

Drying with shivery hands her unstoppable tears, she tried to remember all the good memories she had from her time with her parents. Sitting down on the blossom tree, under the fuchsia leaves who flew with grace down on her amber hair, Quinn fell down into a deep sleep, rewinding her childish self and living again all the good souvenir she held preciously in her mind.

Mum and Dad was with me for my first day at school, she remembered with a smile, tears rolling even harden on her already swollen cheeks. They were so proud and happy, I can still see their faces and their smiles.

Even after surviving through so much, the look of her parents plagued her mind, looming even in her dreams or nightmares. They were always there, even after death, staying with their daughter and helping her with good thoughts in the most difficult periods of her life.

Mum had the brightest amber hair. She tied them often in a small bun . . . And Dad would have a necklace on his neck, he would never take it off.

The girl loved to remember her parents. She loved them as much as a daughter should. They were her dreams, her goal, her future. Whatever name she would call them, they would always respond to her calls, they would come back to her and promise they shall never leave her again. But now ? Where were their now ? She was calling them she was screaming their names, longing for comfort and love. But as much as she cried, as much as she pleaded, none of her calls were answered. Even on the top of a hill or in the depth of an underground cave, she couldn't find that same feeling of ease she felt when her mother and father were still around, with her. But Quinn wasn't stupid. She knew they were dead. And that dead people didn't answer the calls of the livings. But she also needed to hear their voice, just once at least...

"Dad, mum . . . Please . . . ." For what was she pleading already ? For them to come back ? For her to join them ? For somebody to end the endless ache in her heart. Because it hurt. Her heart was trampled, broken, annihilated. Without them by her side, she didn't know what else to do than hide behind lies. Hide and forget who she was before.

The tears were long gone now. She had no water to cry on anymore. Nor did she have the strength. She was drained, exhausted, and she couldn't wait to go back to the orphanage and sleep in that bed that wasn't hers, staying away from the true world for as long as she could. She could dream then as long as she wishes of her time with her parents, she could have as many recollections of her life before all that. When she was an innocent child like every other of her friends, when she would awe when she would see a toy that pleased her. Her most vivid memory was when she went to school for the first time, meeting her first teacher and her first desk when she would study. The night that followed that day, she would chat and chat on how wonderful it was to be in a classroom, to be part of a community. Her mother had laughed, if she remembered correctly, and she had told her that life wouldn't be as bright. And only now, years later, did she understood what she meant.

Whenever happiness is destroyed, there is the smell of blood.

Her happiness had been destroyed, there had been the smell of blood. The screams, cries, yells. All of those sound plagued her mind, remembering she had been week and able to do nothing to save even a little child or an old man who would beg for help. That sentence, she had heard it so many times from the mouth of an old friend of hers. The old Boy . He told her once, when he would get drunk overnight, that it was something her mother told him often.

And even if it was strange, even impossible, as the old Boy was old, Quinn had the inner feeling that she had known his mother. Like a long lost friend. Something she had known a long time ago, maybe even before her actual birth, but that she had to part her away for unknown reasons.

The only thing she knew for sure was that the mother of the old Boy had lived at the same time period as her grandmother on the side of her father. For some odd reasons, she had never met her grandmother. Her father, to at least get rid of that saddened face on his daughter face, had told her her name without never daring to tell the reasons why they wouldn't meet again.

Lucia Wellbone was her name.