Burning Conscious

Chapter 4 - Midnight memories

Nearly twelve hours.

His head hurt like hell, the aspirin not doing much to help. He sat in the closet, the lights off as the noise downstairs continued from the party before. He was sure it was really just Ruby and Sapphire who were still up, enjoying a conversation with each other. 

He sat in a ball, gripping at his hair, pulling at his arm, his jacket shielding his face from the closets door, making him feel more protected by the darkness that surrounded him. 

He hated times like these, when he was forced to think. He tried to keep his mind focused on the good memories, the ones that would eventually help him calm down. But it felt they were gone so soon, quickly being replaced with the memories of the pain he's been forced to suffer through.

He remembers being a kid, young, playful, curious. Things that can easily get rid of innocence. 

He remembers Pearl staying behind to take care of him, dressing him up and doing his hair. He remembers how she'd spray his hair pink and they'd have tea parties, her always calling him Rose and acting weird. She'd always blush and offer him more tea, and like a good little boy he played his part. Looking back on it now....

There were fun times with Amethyst. The two of them playing around the temple, breaking things and drawing on the walls. He remembers playing doctor and house, and how clingly she used to be. They were best friends back then, Pearl could barely separate them when they hung out together. None of it felt right....

Garnet was really the only one he grew up with. While Pearl was only a few years older than his mom, and Amethyst was more of his mom's teenage daughter, Garnet was the only real child he ever spent time with. It would always be with Sapphire or Ruby, the two taking care of them between missions. Ruby would play fight with them, teaching then the value of combat and how to break thin wood with their foreheads. Sapphire spent her time teaching them how to read and plan carefully, how to strategize and relax. Thinking back the two love birds were headache inducing.

God he hated his childhood.

By the time he was 7 Garnet was really the only one who stayed behind to watch him. They sorta just stared at each other until Steven fell asleep or went to do something more entertaining. She'd always just watch him, sometimes following him around as he went to do stuff. He grew used to hidding in his closet. Even if she was in the closet watching him, he couldn't see her. It was like she didn't exist.

Now it was just a place that surrounded him with his problems. 

The door of the closet opened slowly, the sound seeming small compared to the noise downstairs. Steven didn't move, his thoughts racing on other things. 

The pink jacket was lifted slowly off of his head, the light from his room nearly blinding him as he warpped his arms around his head. 

"How are you feeling?" Garnets voice asked the nervous wreck of a teen. 

Looking up slowly, Steven saw Garnet holding his jacket folded in her arms, his gun sitting in her hand as it rested on the jacket. Stevens eyes lit up at the sight of the gun, and it was as though a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders. "Better." 

"I know how the gun makes you feel and I'm sorry I had to take it. Just don't do anything stupid with it." She says, not moving.

Steven rolls his eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh. "Thank you for protecting innocent lifes and not letting me shoot my mom in the face." He says with a snarky tone.

Garnet smiles, handing him the gun. 

The cold metal aginst his hands made his heart race in a way that being without it couldn't compare. Even though after a quick check of the chamber and finding it empty, it was still nice to hold it. Besides, it made a good blunt object.

"How'd you get it anyways...?" Steven asks, looking up. "Blue had that lock made specifically for me and that drawer, this is the only key that exist." He says, patting to the key that hung at his chest.

Adjusting her glasses and giving a smirk, Garnet shrugs. "I have my ways." Avoiding the fact she nearly broke the desk breaking inside, the smirk turns into a worried smile. "And talk to Rose." She says slowly before leaving him to think.

He didn't plan on talking to Rose anytime soon. But as he crawled to his bed, the sense of security helping him begin to drift to sleep, he wondered what a conversation with her would be like.

In the end, would it even matter?