Burning Conscious

Chapter 16 - Quick Gift

Steven bought the film, not even sure if he'd get to see her today. He didn't exactly know when her birthday was, or where she even lived if he thought about it. But he was her first friend in beach city, he might as well get her a gift. 

He'd even done some research at the library, the place he's spent the past day an a half at avoiding his mother. The gems worked with him, waking him up before she did and saving him food from dinner in the nights.

 He felt so hopeless. In a way he hoped he'd run into her, he hoped that they'd be forced to talk, and he'd be forced to listen. But so far the gems were helping him get what he wanted, and he couldn't really be mad about that.

He left the store, stuffing the film into his off place yellow satchel. It didn't really go well with his pink jacket and blue jeans, and the color on its own wasn't the best. But for whatever reason he spent months saving up for it. He wasn't sure why.

He walked onto the board walk, the smell of the ocean comforting his thoughts as he walked. He was beginning to grow annoyed, with himself of all people. He felt like he was trapped in a room, tied down to a chair as he stared at a mirror. The mirror talked to him, trying to reason what was happening in the real world with his twisted logic. And Steven agreed with all of this at first. He agreed that he should be with the dm, that he should be the opposite of who he'd grown up to be. But after so long of trying to be who he thought he wanted be, he found that person was an annoying little shit.

It felt like the him in the mirror was trying to force him to be someone he was growing tired of, screaming at him the reasons as to why, when reality there was no reason other than to sit back and get a laugh out of life. To use people for amusement, to use his power in a playful way.

Was.... Was he becoming Pink.....

He didn't even realize he'd been grabbing his cigarettes until one reached his lips, his free hand quickly lighting it. Taking a deep breath, he felt more aware. The him in the mirror made him like this, addicted to smoking, addicted to having his gun even if its not loaded, on him at all times, even now. He made himself become a coward, hiding behind these things and a foul attitude.

He could only blame himself. He felt so lost....

He sat on the beach, in the same spot as he did when he first met her a few days ago. He closed his eyes as he laid down, searching for the answers to hid unasked questions. The him in the mirror laughing at him. 

'Who are you Steven Universe? Are you a gangster? Are you a Crystal Gem? Or.... Are you really Pink Diamond?'

He heard her walking up as he snapped back to reality. And he knew it was her by the squeaks of her big shoes. He turned his head, looking at her as the cigarette hangs from his lips, the ash falling on his nose. He flinched as it burned for a few seconds, the ashes quickly going out. "Hey Spinny." He says as it dangles between his lips. 

She gives him a wide smile. "Heya Steven Universe!" She says as she sits next to him. "Weird finding ya here, in the same spot as last time of all places!"

He chuckles. "I know right. Its fuckin weird." He looks up at the sky. "Sorry."

She giggles. "Oh its fine. Trust me my moms ex does it way more than you'd think." 

"Sounds like an ass if ya askin me." He says with a smile as he lets out the smoke in his lungs. He didn't understand why he liked these things.

"He's not really. He's actually a really nice guy. He's just stressed, with his son and all." She says cheerfully. "He's so worried about that boy sometimes, I wonder why he doesn't just confront him with all of it ya know?"

Steven nods, understanding the feeling all too much. "Yup." He says, sitting up. "Oh that reminds me!" He reaches into his bag, pulling out the boxed film. "I got you this. Didn't know when your birthday was so I decided to wait here and give it to you early."

Her eyes light up as she takes the box, her hands running a hand over it with awe. "Aw shucks!" She says as she scratches the back of her head with a shy smile. "How'd ya know I was runnin out?"

He shrugged. "Well i guess since you take a lot of pictures you'd need more film."

"Speaking of! I wanna take a picture! To remember this moment!" She says, holding up her camera with excitement. He sighs as he puts out the cigarette, leaning in close for the picture, the flash blinding him as the memory is stored.