Luke

Chapter 4

Morning, the worst realizations in life. The sounds of honking cars down our street were my good morning, along with the birds and Lilly's voice. Luckily, I didn't hear her this morning. 

I rubbed my face and continued lying in bed. I tried falling back asleep for another time, but I was fully charged. But that didn't stop me from lying in bed for a while later. I stared at my wall, little clippings from poems and drawings from Jay I liked hanging limply by colored tacks. I smiled to myself slightly. 

The sound of the screen door awoke me from my daze; Sam was home. I heard him talking to someone. I listened to hear who the second voice belonged to, rolling my eyes in annoyance when it was Lilly's. I think she went in for a check-up on her heart condition a couple days ago. Maybe she had an attack? I don’t know. I just didn’t want to see her.

The footsteps of my two siblings approached my door. They walked by my room and I heard their conversation for a moment. Something about what a doctor said I think.

I didn’t move in bed. I held my breath several times to see what it would feel like if I died, but I couldn’t for long because my lungs fucking suck. I lazily rolled over and reached into the side drawer and took out the pill bottle, downing three pills. That’ll get me through a couple hours of the day.

I decided I was going to just walk around town. Maybe I was going to see Jay later, but I definitely wasn’t going to call Brielle to hang out. Saturday was my day, or some shit like that. I don’t even know.

I sat up and pulled my legs over the side of the bed, my feet resting on my wooden floor. I stood up and ruffled my hair, walking to my closet and pulling a sweater off the hanger, oblivious to the fact that the black plastic hanger clattered to the floor. I pulled the shirt over my head while walking to the other side of my room, taking out the first pair of pants I found and slipping them on. I grabbed a beanie next, placing it off my head so it hung a little loosely, pinning back my bangs, followed by my shoes hidden beneath my bed.

I threw on my pea coat - which was by far my favorite coat I owed - and opened my door. I walked down the slim hall, past the living room and took a right to the kitchen, grabbing some cash out of the drawer and shoving it in my pocket. 

I walked out of the kitchen and opened the door to outside, the cool air meeting my face. I popped up my collar and closed the door behind me, going down the steps and walking into town. 

First stop, the convenience store. I needed cigarettes. It was a priority. Today might be a 1 ½ pack day. Not exactly a two pack day; I wasn’t that stressed, but it could be. You’ll never know.

I went inside the convenience store, the bell ringing signaling my entry. It was warm inside.

"Hey, Luke," Clint greeted.

"Hey, Clint," I sleepily replied, walking over to the middle of the store and grabbing a paper cup, pressing the button for coffee. 

"The usual?" Clint asked, reaching underneath the counter where the cartons of cigarettes were located.

"Just a pack today," I instructed, still filling my coffee. "I'll get the rest later."

"Didn't you just get a carton a week ago or somethin'?" He placed a pack on the counter.

I didn't reply, which meant a yes. He knew that. 

I put some sugar and milk into the coffee, stirring it with a wooden stick and tossing it into the hole in the counter for trash. I put on a lid and walked over to the checkout, placing it on the counter and pulling out my folded wallet. 

"Our coffee isn't even that good, you know. There's way better coffee next door."

"That coffee's shit," I replied, placing 5 bucks on the counter, taking my cigarettes and putting them in my pea coat pocket.