Luke

Chapter 11

I woke up to a ringing phone. It startled me awake and I sighed, realizing it was just my phone.  I reached over to grab it and answer it, letting out a sleepy hello.

“Hey, is everything okay?” It was Jay.

“Hmm? Yeah everything’s fine,” I yawned, flipping over onto my back and stretching. “Why?”

“You weren’t at school today. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t die.” She wasn’t kidding.

“Well, I’m not dead.”

“Yeah I can hear that.”

There was silence for a couple seconds.

“Are you sure everything’s okay? Were you sleeping?”

“No I was running a marathon.”

“Haha funny,” she laughed sarcastically. “But seriously, you never miss school for sleep. Well…yeah, actually, you do, but rarely.”

“Jay, I do it a lot.”

“But never when you’re okay.”

I sighed. I couldn’t tell her about last night. I don’t talk about sex with friends. It’s…weird. I don’t talk about sex with anyone. Not really even with Brielle. I tend to try and avoid the subject at all costs.

“I’m just tired, Jay. Can’t I just be tired?”

“We both know that’s an excuse, Luke. Don’t think I’d fall for that.”

I heard the screen door slam shut.

“The gig last night was just rough, okay? I’m fine. Please stop asking.”

She sighed. “Fine. I’ll text you the homework info. But it’s not like you’ll do it anyway,” I heard her smiling on the other side.

“Thanks, Jay.”

“Get some more sleep, will ya?” She joked. “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye.” 

She hung up.

I placed the phone next to me and looked at the ceiling. She was right, I only do skip school for sleep when something’s bad, but she doesn’t understand. Hell, I barely understand. I always feel terrible after I sleep with Brielle, so every time I have sex with her I don’t go to school the next day. Maybe not every time, but only the times when I’m really, really bad. Like today.

I looked over at my closet where my secret stash of drugs was hidden. Should I just get high? It’ll only block out the feelings for a little while and then I’ll feel worse later on. And Sam and Lilly are home, not that I really care about Lilly finding out I’m high, but Sam would kill me. And I’m not gonna relapse; I told myself that already.

My phone beeped. It was Jay’s homework text.
                Jay (3:57):
-          Read chapters 16-17 for English
-          Do questions 1-5 pg 124  for math

Make sure to take care of yourself, k? :)

Jay really was a great friend. I’m glad I have her. Sometimes I think about when I didn’t have her. Damn, my life sucked when she wasn’t around. I couldn’t go anywhere when Dad was yelling or hitting me, or both, I couldn’t escape as easily from Lilly and Sam, and I was constantly reminded I was a part of that family. Every night I’d escape and go down into the pit that was near the house. It’s filled up now. I used to climb down there, or roll, or fall, and just look up at the sky. God, I tore my arms up so badly. My legs, too. I’m surprised the blood stains disappeared in the dirt. Or if anyone found the razors when they filled the hole up. That was before I found the relief of drugs. I don’t cut anymore, and I won’t, like, ever. I learned it was wrong. I still notice the scars sometimes and try to ignore them, try to ignore my past. That's mostly why I got my tattoos. To cover up my past. God it’s hard. And when my dad found out, God, he nearly killed me. But once Jay came around around the time Dad died, I started to feel a little better. I still smoke as much as I used to, but I don’t get high alone as often. It’s a friend thing now. I don’t know, if there’s one thing I’m thankful for, it’s her. But oh God my hair? I don’t even want to talk about that.
                                                                                                                                              
I heard the doorknob jiggle then a knock on my door.