Luke

Chapter 5

The first thing I knew it was morning. I barely remembered anything from the night before. Both of our heads were fogged, our eyes were heavy. I sat up, moaning and rubbing my head. I was fucking freezing for some reason. 

“Cover up, god-damnit,” Jay joked half asleep as she threw a blanket on me. “You need to stop walking around shirtless when it’s 38 degrees outside.”

“Is that what happened?” I mumbled. “Aren’t I just full of surprises."

I checked my phone resting next to me on the floor. 23 missed texts. All from Brielle. Who would’ve guessed? 

“Are you going to head back home?” Jay asked, picking up the mess we made of her room. There were blankets and pillows scattered everywhere.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” I replied, finding 1 lone cigarette on the ground and picking up, placing it in between my teeth. “I’m saddened that this is what we’ve come to: get high, go home.”

“If you’re staying I’m making some coffee. Want some?”

“Sure.”

She went downstairs while I sat on her floor, the creaking of her decent growing quieter. The room was a mess, that’s for sure. What even happened? I couldn't remember a damn thing. I saw my shirt bundled in the far corner and grabbed it, pulling it on and wrapping the blanket tighter around me. I really needed to dress warmer. I buried my head in between my knees. The morning after is the worst feeling. I felt awful, like the world was spinning out of control, like I should just throw myself off the roof. I looked up and out the window, taking another pull of my cigarette. My hand was shaking; hell, my whole body was shaking. 

I spotted a pill bottle on the floor near the bed. I leaned over and grabbed it, rotating it in my hand to see the label. It was Jay’s ecstasy bottle. I guess that made sense. I remember the music sounding really nice for some reason. Like liquid or something. Smooth. 

I stayed in her room a little while longer before standing up and wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, heading downstairs. The blanket itself went down to my knees, so it didn’t really do any justice. It was usually for making Jay warmer because she’s about 5’ something short and I’m 6’ tall. Fucking tall people.

The hard-wood floor was cold under my feet, the chill coming up my legs and into my back and arms. “Jay, where’s the heater?” I asked once I reached the bottom of the stairs, roaming around the house.

“In the living room.” She responded from the kitchen. I heard the coffee maker running. It smelt so good.

I found the thermostat on the wall and boosted it up to 80 degrees. It was only 65 in the house. Why the fuck is it 65 in the house?

I trudged back into the kitchen, leaning my head against the fridge door, staring at my feet.

“Not feeling too hot, huh?” Jay asked, handing me a cup of coffee.

“Not at all,” I responded, taking the cup.

She pulled the hair out of my eyes and tucked them behind my ears. 

“Go sit on the couch and relax. Throw on Netflix. I’ll get you something to eat.”

“I was going to take a shower, actually. Is that alright?” I asked, taking a sip of my coffee.

“Yeah, go ahead. You know how to use it.”

I handed her the blanket, automatically sending a chill up my back. I grabbed a towel from the basket before going into the bathroom and turned on the shower. It got steamy in there quickly. I wiped the condensation off the mirror, watching it just fog up again. I sighed and got undressed, stepping into the shower. The water felt warm, relaxing. 

I was trying to remember what happened the night before. I remember the music, but what else? Fuck, how many pills did I even take? One? Two? Four? I had to have blacked out completely. I mean, I didn't mind when it happened; I liked getting high. It's the only means of escaping Jay and my's fucked up world. It's the only time a smile like that, let alone laugh.  I sighed, running my hands through my wet hair. Maybe Jay and I could do our hair together. She could add it to her video collection. I sighed again, sitting down on the shower floor, leaning my head against the tiled wall. The water was already feeling cooler against my face. 

It wasn’t a while later after I sat down before I was sitting hitting my head against the shower wall. I had no idea why, but I just wanted to knock myself out. I didn’t want to wake up. I hated feeling like this. 

I was in the shower for half an hour. The water felt freezing against my now blotchy red skin where the scolding water hit my legs. I got out and dried off, struggling to pull my clothes on over my wet body. My dripping hair made a small trail from the bathroom and up the steps and into Jay's room.

“You look awful,” she noted as I entered the room. I sat down and lay on the floor, face down, my face buried into the carpet.

“Please shoot me,” I mumbled into the rug.

“That’s Sam’s job. You’ll be fine, Luke.”

I moaned and just stayed there. I heard the creek of her bed, followed by a hand on my back. “What?” I asked into the rug.

“Let me bring you home before you smash your head into the wall, okay?” she offered.

I mumbled a “sure” and got up, grabbing my phone and following Jay downstairs to the car. I opened the door, ducking my head and sitting in the front seat. Jay joined me a moment later, starting up the engine and driving off. I stared out the window, watching the blurry trees pass by. 

"Do you remember what happened last night?" I asked Jay, my voice mumbled and deep with sleepiness. 

"Not really," she answered, keeping her eyes on the road. "I mean, I remember the getting high part and going onto the roof to look at the stars. That's about it. Oh, you took off your shirt and spun it in the air, I think."

I rubbed my face, chuckling. "God, how do I not remember any of this?"

"You took way more pills than me, that's for sure. You were high as a kite."

"It felt good though," I smiled to myself softly. 

I saw that she looked to me for a second, then back to the road. "So Lilly's home?"

I moaned. 

"What happened?" She inquired. 

"I don't even fucking know. I heard Sam talking about something her damn doctor said."

"Did she have another attack, do you think?"

"I have no fucking clue. She's not dead, that's what I'm concerned about."

She sighed, spinning the steering wheel quickly as she rounded a turn. "Luke, listen. I know you don't like her, but--"

"Jay, please stop."

"Sorry." 

We drove in silence for the rest of the way to my house. 

"Take care of yourself, okay?" she instructed, unlocking the door for me. "Text me if you need anything."

"Thanks, Jay." 

"Love you, buddy."

I closed the door and walked around the car, stepping onto my walkway and heading through the gate and up the stairs. I’ll just sleep off the day. It’s what I usually do.