Lost (Camren)

Chapter 24

I slowly walked home. I doubt Lauren would want to talk to me for a while. I had really hurt her. I don't know why I let all these things in my head. Obviously Lauren does truly love me, and I love her too.

I walked to the front door and unlocked it. Entering a silent empty house. I sighed deeply and threw myself on the couch. I closed my eyes for a few seconds.

~~

"Camila!" Someone yelled from a distance. I turned to see who was calling me but all I could see was darkness. "Camila!" The voice yelled again, full of horror. I knew who it was. Lauren. I desperately looked for her in the dark my hands wildly searching for her. "What are you doing? she doesn't love you" a voice whispered in my ear. "She's just using you." I tried to get away from the voice but it was useless. "No one loves you. What are you doing here?" I covered my ears. "Camila!!" I heard Lauren yell further away this time. A cold sharp blade formed in my hands "Do it. No one will ever love you. They just feel pity" "Camz! No!" She yelled. "Do it." The voice said. And my hand obeyed. The sharp blade digging into my wrist.

~~

I opened my eyes to find myself in my small living room. My head was pounding and my wrist hurt. I looked at it, It was red. I let out a big sigh and rubbed my eyes. It all felt so real.

I sat up to reach for my phone but the pounding in my head only grew. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples.

I reopened them and reached for my phone. 7 pm. My mom was working late tonight. I was supposed to stay with Lauren until she got off but sometimes shit happens.

I got up to walk to the kitchen, as soon as I did I felt dizzy and the pounding grew. Why do I feel like this? I reached for the medicine cabinet in search for some Advil.

I opened the bottle and poured half of it in my hand. What happens if I take more than I should? Would I die? There is only one way to find out, but should I? I stared at the pills in my hand. Would anyone care? Of course not you idiot. Why would they care? I stared at them longer. Do it and everything will be over. Why are you still here? You're a waste of space anyway. I felt a single tear roll down. Come on you baby do it. No one needs you.

Another tear fell. I mess everything up. I'm not good enough for anyone, and I'll never be. I hate knowing this. I can't live with myself anymore. I just can't.

I closed my hand and let more tears fall. I brought my hand up to my mouth and dropped them in. I swallowed a few and hurriedly chugged down some water. I leaned against the wall. What's gonna happen now? Fear crept up. I started to cry harder. I sobbed into my hands and slid down the wall.

All of a sudden feeling dizzier than before. The pounding had stopped. I felt like throwing up. My eyes grew heavier by the second. I felt, lighter. I tried to sit up but it was useless. Everything was fuzzy and then pitch black.

*Lauren's POV*

Anything but pity. I loved her. Didn't she understand? Is it not enough?

I sat in my bedroom. Looking out the window. I had seen her leave a couple of minutes ago. She was supposed to stag with me until her mom got off work but it didn't work as planed.

I wish I could do more for her. Show her let her know that I in no way will hurt her. That I love her with everything I have. How much she is worth. How beautiful she is inside and out.

I started to cry. I'm not the person to show my emotions much or am I the person who cries. But I felt useless and hurt.

I heard a faint knock on my door. I rapidly wiped my eyes. "Come in" I said trying to sound normal. "Honey?" It was my mom. "Yeah?" I said still looking out my window. She sat on the edge of my bed. "Are you okay sweetie?" I nodded. There was silence for a minute.

"Lauren honey, I heard Camila and you."  I bit my lip trying not to cry. "Baby, Camila has had so much happen to her in the past years. She's not the person who opens up easily. You have to understand."  I sighed realizing that she was right. "I messed up mom." I let a tear fall. "No honey. Camila would never give up on you." "You don't know that" I mumbled.

"Lauren, sweetie. She loves you and so do you. Show her." She patted my back and kissed my forehead "I love you both and I want you to be happy"

I sat there for a long time. Thinking about the fragile but beautiful burnet I'm hopelessly in love with. I found the smallest things about her so cute or just simply beyond words. I sighed. I need her and she needs me.

I stood up and walked out towards her house. I'm coming for you Camz.

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