Rescued From Shadows

Chapter Fifteen

It had been a few since Fingon left the room and Maedhros still was curled in on himself crying. He felt a slight nudge against his arm. Maedhros looked with tears in his eyes and he reached out and scratched Huan's head.

"Thank you Huan but I want some space," Maedhros said tiredly. Huan seemed to shake his head and nuzzled himself closer. Maedhros sighed a bit and let Huan cuddle close to him. He wrapped an arm around him and half buried his face in the soft fur. He let himself cry a bit more as his mind drifted back to two different things that Mairon said to him. "You know what I think, elf? I think you rather like this...the pain, torture, starvation, the isolation. You think you deserve it? Don't you little Kinslayer?"

"It is ironic. You had a feeling you were walking into a trap but you came anyone because of that oath. Yet, it is funny how you came alone to protect your brothers and how they are just leaving you here to suffer. I guess they don't really care for you like you care for them."

Maedhros shook his head. Those two things broke him, they hurt him the most. He shut his eyes and did his best to make it stop. It didn't. Maedhros just sat back and let the tears stream down his face. Huan gave his face a few licks and Maedhros just patted his head. He just swallowed unable to speak. He slowly stood up and walked over to the bed and laid down curling up once more. He felt Huan joining him which forced Maedhros to smile a bit. He was happy that Celegorm had such a loyal and loving companion. Since he figured his brother must have told him that he needed someone to keep an eye on. It was clear that Huan took on this task with full readiness. Yet, the smile soon faded as the memories and pain came back.

He looked at his left hand and he made it clench the blankets. He then looked at his right or where his right one should have been. He shook his head and shut his eyes. He was too weak...he was too tired. He was so tired. Yes he had been slowly healing but it was still exhausting. He just wanted to let go...to just drift off. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go home so badly. He sighed softly and curled up closing his eyes.

~~~

Maedhros shifted and looked around his heart started to race as he thought this was another nightmare. Yet, it didn't seem to be like it was. He was surrounded by a white soothing mist. "Maedhros," A soft voice from behind him.

He stiffened and turned swallowing hard. "Mamil?"

Nerdanel smiled sweetly at him. "Hello, my little flame." She said.

Maedhros instantly fell into her arms a quiet sob came out. He shook a bit as she wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She just ran a hand through his hair gently. After a while he quieted down and sat up. Tears still stuck to his face but Nerdanel whipped them away gently.

Maedhros opened his mouth and a jumbled sentence came out. Nerdanel put a hand on his shoulder and said, "Shh. It's just a dream,"

Maedhros swallowed and rubbed his sleeve over his face. He nodded and looked back at his mother's sweet smiling face. "Mamil...I am so sorry," He choked. "I am so sorry for leaving you! I am so sorry for what happened. I couldn't keep an eye on my brothers...I can't keep them safe now. I am-"

"Maitimo." She said a bit sternly but gently. "I am not angry with you for leaving. I do miss you terribly but in all truth I know if you or any of your brothers have stayed. Any of you wouldn't be happy, you would be worried about your father and the others."

Maedhros looked at her and nodded slightly. She put her hand to his cheek and lifted his chin up. "Maitimo. Come on, look at me,"

Maedhros slowly looked up at her and she kissed his forehead and put a hand on his scarred cheek. She then looked in his eyes. "Maitimo. I love you and I will always be proud of you." She said.