Acces Denied||Squip x Reader||Be More Chill|| (He's a finished boi)

Big Ball of Sadness

I wake up in the hospital bed. Michael and Jeremy were waiting by my side. Apparently I fell off the stage. My arms broken, but I don't care.

I don't care about anything anymore. Michael gives me a ride home. I go up to my bed and sit in it. I stare at the celling. Minutes, hours, days go by.

I hadn't  eaten in 3 days when my mother tried to break me out of my trance. I couldn't  be in my house, everything reminded me of Liam.

I go over to Michael's. His moms let me stay in the guest room. I've been living with Michael for weeks.

Three weeks after the "squipcident" as Jeremy dubbed it, I went back to school. No one seemed to care. But I don't think anyone had a Squip they cared about.

Jeremy and Michael have been there for me ever since. We play video games, listen to music on Vinyl and get high in Michael's basement.

My parents talk to me every night on the phone. I tell them I can't be home right now, they understand.

Sometimes I go to sleep crying. Michael's room is across from the guest room. He comforts me.

I feel kinda like a third wheel when I'm with Jeremy and Michael. They're sweet though. I needed them, if I never met them I'd never be able to think about anything but Liam.

One day we walk passed Elision Park. I see Connor and Evan and they wave at me. I wave back but don't make conversation.

I bring Jeremy and Michael through the park. I walk near the place of  Liam and my first date. 

I fall to the ground again. I crawl into a ball and Jeremy and Michael have to pull me up again.

I cry onto Michael's shoulder. Jeremy and Michael hold me. "I'm sorry" I whisper to them they shake their heads and comfort me.

"I lost the first man I ever loved, and it's my fault, I could've saved him," I say to them. I haven't talked about Liam in ages. I thought about him though.

Morning to night. I can't think about anything but him. "It's not your fault Y/N, it was his idea," Michael smiles at me.

"No it was my fault," I say shaking my head. Michael hugs me. Jeremy follows after. We sit in the park as a big ball of sadness.

"Let's go home Y/N, we can talk about this later," Michael smiles. He grabs my hand and brings me to his car.

The other people in the park look at us, with one emotion. One that when you feel for other people you feel helpful. But once people feel it to you it's terrible.

Pity