Redeemed

Chapter 12

JHENE

I remember last Easter, I was with Ntate and had just come out of prison. 

I've been out for a year and oh, I miss him. 

I tried calling the other day and he didn't answer, my heart shuttered. 

He's my father and as much as we've never really got along, I can't just forget about him. 

 He's the only parent I have now so I'm really having a hard time with this silence. It's easy to pretend it's not affecting me, that I don't care but I really do. 

I feel so lonely. I can't believe Gina hurt me like this. I'm really feeling it and it's making me so miserable. 

Maybe it's Easter. I remember how he wanted me to go to church with him, I remember how he gave me his card so I can buy myself clothes. I'm still using the phone he bought me. 

I go through the pictures I have of him and a tear drops. 

Why Gina? Why?

It's at this moment I realise how much she hates me. I've never done anything to provoke that hate so it all doesn't make sense to me. 

I decide to shower and go to church. I haven't been to church in more than ten years but I just feel like going. I miss my mom so much today. 

After my shower, I wear a white pencil skirt with a beige bodysuit and a denim jacket on top. 

I wear black red bottoms and put on some pearl earrings. 

Ever since I started with auditions and everything, I find myself owning a pair of skirts. 

I prefer them better than dresses. 

I look at my reflection on the mirror and sigh. I look good yes but that's all in the physical. I don't feel so good inside. 

Getting in my kitchen, I make myself a smoothie. 

My phone rings as it's busy. 

Me: "Hello? "

Siya: "Hey, how are you? "

Me: "Not so good. What do you want? "

Siya: "Just wanted to ask if you have any plans today? "

Me: "I'm going to church now"

Siya: "(chuckles) Church? You? "

Me: "I think it's the only place which will make me feel closer to my mom"

Siya: "Well, I can go to church with you "

Me: "What? "

Siya: "We're doing what you want then after we'll do what I want "

Siya and I have become friends through working together but it seems he wants to take our friendship to the next level. 

I'm not sure about that. 

Me: "I don't know Siya "

Siya: "Come on. I don't bite or should I beg ?"

Me: "(giggles) Maybe I'd like to hear you back "

Siya: "( clears throat) Don't laugh. I'm about to attempt a sotho sentence "

Me: "(chuckles) I'll try not to"

Siya: "Khopela o dumele hle "

Me: "(chortles) Oh my. I'm charmed "

And I'm being honest. It's like God knew I needed cheering up because he's doing just that.