Redeemed

Chapter 27

GINA

The past few months have been eyeopening for me. I've realised my mistakes, corrected where possible and allowed God control of my life. It's amazing. I'm home, I'm happy and I'm not stressing. I spend more time in the house of God and I love it. I had enjoyed the thrill of getting all that I asked for and forgotten about him. I know he'll never forsake me. I've seen it and I believe it. Zach has been bringing the kids every month to See Me. Thato is coming over to visit. I've missed him so much. It's been three, almost four months without seeing him so I wonder how much he's grown. I'm looking forward to it. I've cleaned the house to a ten, made sure his bed has new sheets and even bought him a few toys. The money from the house came through but I've only kept a small portion of it accessible. I think I'm ready to move out from home but I'm not ready to break Ntate's heart. He loves having us around but I'm not exactly a teenager or in my early twenties now so staying at home is a no. I know I'll find a job. I believe it. Like Ntate said, Hope isn't God. I'm in my room now. I've just taken a bath because I'm exhausted.
Zach: "I'm sorry I didn't knock"
I didn't think they'd come so soon. He agreed to bring Thato with Zoë and Zachary, in fact he offered.
Me: "Where are they? "
I'm excited, I can't conceal it. Those three are literally my life and in their presence, I'm on a high.
Zach: "They are... uhm, outside "
Me: "What's... (eyes races to where his are) I've just showered. Please leave, I'd like to get dressed "
Zach: "(sits on my bed and folds arms)It's nothing I haven't seen before "
Me: "(smirking) You are no longer my husband Zach "
Zach: "So? "
Me: "Please get out Zach"
Zach: (stares at me for a while then gets up) "I'll send them in"
Like I had predicted, Thato has grown so much. It feels like I haven't seen him in years. There's no doubt he's been under good care, which I would have hated to admit. He's happy to See Me too, keeps kissing me and I keep him in my arms.
Thato: "I missed you mommy. Why can't I live with you? "
Me: "Don't you love staying with daddy? "
Thato: "I do but I... I love staying with you more"
Me: "(tightly embraces him) I love staying with you too but you have to stay with daddy"
In the evening, I walk Zach out. Ntate gave me a look I couldn't decipher yet I didn't bother asking. He leans by his car and fixes his eyes on me.
Me: "Say it please "
Zach: "I can't help but wonder where we went wrong. We were happy or so I thought. Tell me, was it my travelling? Was it money, you wanted more? Was it a race thing? "
Me: "(clears throat) Zach, It doesn't matter anymore. I'm genuinely sorry for what I did, for ruining such a good marriage. You were good to me, I guess I forgot myself In the high of being married and having all that I aspired. I allowed myself to be tempted and allowed that temptation to get the best of me. Your mother is happy, isn't she? I mean she... she never liked me"
I've never asked about that, not that I had any moment to. Zach didn't talk to me after the divorce and I don't blame him. I'm glad we're talking now, God has been merciful to me.
Zach: "Why would she be happy that my marriage failed and you cheated on me? Yes, she might not have been your fan but she loves me, wants me to be happy and she loved us together "
Me: "(chuckles) Yeah right"
I can't believe that. His mom treated me very bad in the duration of our marriage, she second-guessed every decision I made, made me feel I wasn't good enough for him and always complained about me.
Zach: "It doesn't matter either way because your mind is made up"
Me: "I'm really sorry Zach. I never wanted to hurt you nor did I want our marriage to end. I was so scared when Thato came and he was... he was coloured. I panicked OK, (sniffs), I regret giving him away. I regret lying. But it happened and I can't beat myself up about it. Being home has reminded me of who I am and it's who I've been since the beginning of this year and I want it to remain that way "
Zach: "And me? Do I fit somewhere into the New you? "
Me: "(giggles) You're my baby daddy, that's inevitable "
Zach: "You look good, really good. I see that Gina I feel in love with. That one who's clothing I ruined with my car "
Me: "(chuckles) You're making me blush and I'm too old for that "
Zach: "I don't want to leave "
Me: "Why? "
Zach: "But I should (gets into his car hastily like he's being chased) "
Me: "Wow"
I can't help the nasty smile on my face. Maybe Ntate is right. Maybe Zach does love me. I fall asleep with the thought of us getting back together in my mind. It sounds blissful and I have no doubt it's what I want. However, I won't be one to initiate it.
.