trauma and it's healer [KomaHina]

Chapter 3 ~ To Love Or Not To Love

Nagito wasn't ready to love someone. He wasn't ready to get his heart possibly broken again. He wasn't ready to even commit to something like that. The boy's mind was racing with all the possibilities. His body ached, it was exhausting thinking about something like that. With his heart and body tired, the boy fell asleep, only wearing his black denim pants.

In the morning, he sighed to himself. There weren't any bad dreams, or dreams that he could remember at all. Nagito looked down at his pants, they were all wrinkled due to the positions he slept in. As if he cared.

The boy walked over to the mirror. He washed his face, using the new products Chiaki and he had bought. As he dried off his face he looked at himself in the mirror again.

His hair... it was everywhere. He picked up the brush sitting next to his hand soap. Slowly and picking up speed in pure impatience, Komaeda yanked through his hair. Eventually his right arm grew tired. His hair looked a little bit more settled, yet it still seemed quite messy. As if he cared.

Nagito grabbed his shirt, pants, and jacket, setting it up on his bed neatly. He made sure the curtains were closed before he stripped off his pants. As he was pulling on his shirt, he heard a loud knock on the door.

Hastily, Nagito pulled on his pants and ran to the door, forgetting his jacket and shoes.

Komaeda neatened his hair slightly, opening the door with his shaky hand. "O-oh. Hello Nanami-san! Excuse me, I... erm... allow me to get the rest of my clothes on, haha," Nagito said, sprinting to get his shirt and jackets on.

Chiaki watched Nagito grab for his jacket. She noticed scars lining his forearm, even leading up to his shoulder. They looked almost fresh. What would he even use to do something like that? Her heart ached for him. But she knew that reminding him of stuff like that could hurt him even more. So instead, she decided to just make sure he had fun today.

"Nagitooo, have you decided yett..?" Chiaki asked, sitting next to Nagito on his bed, he was trying to get his shoes on. "Hmm..? Oh yeah, um, I just don't think he's the one for me, Nanami-san," Nagito replied, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

They walked out and found Hajime, who was in a surprisingly deep conversation with Ibuki. When she noticed Chiaki and Nagito walking up, she quickly said her goodbyes and ran straight for the restaurant.

"Hey, Hajime," Chiaki said, putting her hand on the protagonist's shoulder, "Could I talk to you for a sec'?" She looked over her shoulder, noticing that Nagito was about to head to the restaurant, probably to get some bagels. "Oh, sorry, Nagito. Is it okay to leave ya' alone for a bit?" Chiaki asked, as she walked away with Hajime. "Hmm..? Oh yeah, sure. See you, Nanami-san!" Nagito replied before sprinting off to the restaurant.

As Nagito ran off, Chiaki turned her attention towards Hajime, wiggling her eyebrows. To this, Hajime's face slowly reddened.

"Hey, Hajime~," Chiaki started. "Don't even, Chiaki," Hajime interrupted. "C'mon, Hajime! You can't hide in the closet forever!" Chiaki whined, shaking Hajime's arm. "I-I just can't confess, yet. I barely know him, even how much he vents in the trials," Hajime explained, yanking his arm away from Chiaki.

Chiaki looked away from Hajime, thinking of something, obviously. Suddenly, she slammed her hand against her fist. "I have an idea!" Chiaki exclaimed, quickly turning around and pointing at Hajime, "We could explore Nagito's cabin! We can find out so much about him!"

Hajime's eyes bulged, surprised at the idea. "E-eh? We can't do that! Th-that's breaking and entering!" Hajime replied.

Too bad Chiaki couldn't hear him, as she was already making her way to Nagito's cabin. She already had a pickpocket kit in her hand.

Hajime rolled his eyes. Too late to convince her now, he reluctantly concluded. Hajime walked over to where Chiaki was going ham on the lock. "Chiaki, how long does Nagito stay at breakfast?" Hajime asked, leaning against the wall, crossing his arms. "Hm? Oh, he stays for quite a while. We'll just steal his diary journal thing and return it later. Well, that's my plan for you, at least." Chiaki responded.

The lock popped open and Chiaki swung the door open.

The bed was unmade and dirty laundry piled on his couch. Some drawers were frantically opened, the opened ones were empty. One of the opened drawers, though, was filled with some pills.

As Chiaki and Hajime were opening and closing drawers, searching for Nagito's diary, Hajime opened a drawer with razor blades. The brunette's eyes widened, he tried to think of a logical reason to why had these. Anything but what he thought it was. He tried to push that idea out of his mind. But that's all that made since. Hajime couldn't normally see Nagito's bare legs or arms, so it only made since.

Was he hurting himself all this time? How could Hajime not realize sooner.

Hajime quickly collected the razor blades and put them in his pockets.

"Hajime! I found it!"

Chiaki showed off Nagito's diary, as if it was a chest filled with glorious jewelry. Chiaki hid the journal in her jacket hastily. "Let's blast, dude!" Chiaki quickly stated.

Hajime and Chiaki ran quickly towards Hajime's cabin. (Of course, Chiaki locked Nagito's cabin.) As soon as they entered Hajime's neat cabin, they launched themselves onto the bed. Ready to dive neck-deep into Nagito's truest thoughts, truer than what he vented during the insane trials.

Hajime flipped through the pages, scanning through for some interesting keywords.

Suddenly, he came across a certain page. The one that showed the deepest, truest of Nagito's thoughts. They had finally unlocked the white-haired boy's mind and heart.

This was the true Nagito Komaeda.