We Run for Love

Chapter 26

Afaaf

اب کہاں ہوں کہاں نہیں ہوں میں
جس جگہ ہوں وہاں نہیں ہوں میں
کون آواز دے رہا ہے مجھے؟
کوئ کہ دو یہاں نہیں ہوں میں

I walked like a dead woman. Stepping up the steps of the place that had become a home for me, for the past few months. It's people had become a family for me.

The dark of the night had enveloped us in it's wings, taking the land under it and basking it with the glow of the stars that remained close yet very distant from us. An eerie silence had fallen upon the land at this hour of the night. A silence so thick that it had my skin itching.

I didn't properly know anything.

If I was breathing normally, if my heart was beating, if I was functioning correctly. All I knew was, I was too shaken to listen to anything around me. I was numb, inside out.

Dim lights reflected around the large haveli. My eyes flickered to the tapestry on the wall, and my stomach churned.

She was five weeks pregnant.

Striding towards the stairs, I saw the lights switched on and a figure seated towards the garden area. Making my way over, I slid the glass doors open seeing Khan Dada sit with his back to me. His shoulders hunched, his cane between his hands as he took support of it. A large brown shawl spread over his shoulders.

I gulped down my throat, before walking infront of him. Khan Dada's green eyes racked over my face and I lowered myself on the floor. My back hitting the cold wall behind me. Folding my knees underneath, I looked at the older man. Seeing him look in distant. Making me follow his gaze.

The garden was wild before us. As if no one had taken care of it, mowed the grass or touched the plants. It resembled to us. Battered and bruised.

My fingers trailed to the small scratches on my arms. And then to the stitches on the side of my forehead. I shuddered before fisting my palms.

" I've buried my three children with my own hands. Lowered them in their graves." Khan Dada's shaky voice made me cut my eyes to him.

Seeing his green eyes looking at me. His white beard standing out against his features. His wrinkled fingers spreading as he showed me his hand.

" First my son and daughter-in-law and then- then our Ronaq."

I listened to him silently. Seeing him break for the first time. Seeing that Bakhtiyar Alam Khan was breaking down under the pillars of his home. That our pain was equal, like a harmful disease that would attack all under it's affect.

" Ronaq- she was so peaceful when I covered her face with the white cloth. It felt as if she was telling me that it was okay. But what is exactly alright."