Chapter 35

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اسے کھونے سے ڈرتی تھیبہت رونے سے ڈرتی تھیپھر آخر یہ سمجھ آیا کہ رویا ان کو جاتا ہےبچھڑ جائے مقدر سےکہ کھویا ان کو جاتا ہےجو حاصل میسر ہوں جو دانستہ بچھڑ جائےاسے رویا نہیں کرتےکبھی پایا نہیں جس کواسے کھویا نہیں کرتےAfaaf

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اسے کھونے سے ڈرتی تھی
بہت رونے سے ڈرتی تھی
پھر آخر یہ سمجھ آیا
کہ رویا ان کو جاتا ہے
بچھڑ جائے مقدر سے
کہ کھویا ان کو جاتا ہے
جو حاصل میسر ہوں
جو دانستہ بچھڑ جائے
اسے رویا نہیں کرتے
کبھی پایا نہیں جس کو
اسے کھویا نہیں کرتے
Afaaf

I sat idly staring at the strip in my hand and for the past four days I had done the same.

Pregnant!

A baby!

The thought would warm hearts of so many mothers but here I sat with my heart lurching in my throat. Afraid to take the test. Afraid if the test came out positive. Afraid at what the doctor said was true. And on the verge of losing myself, a baby was the last thought on my mind.

Abba would bury me alive in the ground.

I wished my heart would have warmed up. I wished that it made me happy if I was, then. But my heart would explode and my stomach would churn each time I thought about it. I couldn't find to the courage to reveal the truth. And I couldn't bring myself to tell it to Mama or Shaya.

They were completely unaware about Doctor Bilquees suspicion. And I made no effort to let them know. Gripping the strip tightly between my fingers, I stood up from the bed. Sighing heavily, I walked to the bathroom before throwing the strip in the dust bin.

It was almost immature and childish of me. But for the sake of peace of mind, I let it be.

Today mama was taking me to the doctor again. Although the past four days, I kept dragging on but today she caught me. And I was left with no other choice as my reports were to be showed to the doctor.

Picking out a white dress, I braided my brown thick locks. Staring at my reflection, I felt as if I was being pulled back in time. To all those times when I'd get dressed and Zaryaab would stare at my reflection. To all the times when we'd shop. To all the times when he wouldn't praise me but make every effort to let me know about it.

As the brush fell down my hand hopelessly, my hopes fell down as well. With a heavy heart, I joined my mother downstairs. The woman smiled my way and cupped the side of my face.

" You look fresh after so many days. It's good to see you like this." I wished to smile at her but the mere act was so difficult that I only managed to nod.

My father sat on the sofa, scrolling through his phone as mama informed that we were going to the doctor. He looked at me sharply and I visibly shrinked.

" What is wrong with her health that you have to take her to the doctor after every day."

The words broke my heart more. He was my father, he should be the one taking me to the doctor. Concerning about my mental health after making me go through hell. Yet he sat here staring at me as if I had some deathly disease.

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