Lost in The City // H.S.

Chapter 19

Even with Harry in my bed I wake early in the morning before the sun has even risen and I can't fall back asleep. I lay in my bed with Harry snuggled up against me for what has to be an hour. His presence calms me but despite the warmth of his body and his soft hair that tickles my shoulder every once in a while the overwhelming thoughts of my father make me restless. Finally with a frustrated sigh I crawl out of bed without Harry noticing my absence.

I can't stop thinking about my father and the thought of what it would have been like if he wasn't okay. The idea is haunting me. I don't know what I would have done. My father has always been a rock in my life and he understands me in a way my mother never has. I can't even think of the last conversation I had with him since I moved here. I am aching to talk to him but with the time difference even though it's six in the morning here, it is the middle of the night there.

I waste some time on my laptop on the couch trying to be as quiet as possible so I don't wake Harry. I don't know why he said what he did yesterday in the kitchen. He had to of known it would piss me off, but he said it anyway. Granted he didn't know I would hear him. But now I desperately want to forget he even said it, after how great he was last night I don't want to argue with him. But I can't get his words out of my head, or why he would even say them in the first place. He obviously doesn't have a good reason or he would have defended his actions when he found out I knew.

I can't help but feel he said them only to be petty and try and keep Niall away. Which is a completely unnecessary thing because there is nothing between Niall and I anyway.

I also know I will be the talking point of our next group hang out because I randomly left and Harry of all people left with me. It's strange to think about how close Harry and I have become and how our friends don't really know about it. I wouldn't say it is a secret but sometimes it feels that way.

I wonder if Piper came up with some random excuse as to why I left, knowing her, she probably did. But she shouldn't have to. My father having a heart attack isn't something that needs to be a secret, I just don't want to talk about it yet. And I am not embarrassed by leaving with Harry, they don't know how things have changed with us over the past weeks. They don't know the way he can be because he doesn't let them. Sometimes I wonder if he is embarrassed by me and that's why he becomes reserved when we are around everyone else. I quickly push the thought out of my head not wanting to give much attention to the idea. 

I continue to stir my cup of peppermint tea that is sitting on the counter as my thoughts continue to shift to all the different things that have taken place in my life since I moved to London. I knew things would change for me, which is what I wanted. I needed a change. I just never thought so much would happen so fast and that I would ever have someone like Harry come into my life.

A pair of strong hands suddenly rest on my shoulders giving them a lightly squeeze and making me flinch from the unexpected touch. I shake my head taking a deep breath and riding my mind of looming thoughts. "Sorry," Harry chuckles quietly. "Are you alright?" His deep and raspy morning voice serious as it flows right next to my ear sending a chill through me.

I nod in response and try to clear my head. I didn't even realize he woke up as I was staring off lost in my own thoughts like I have been so often lately.

"What were you thinking about?" He whispers with his hands still resting on my shoulders. He is standing right behind me, his body so close to mine I can feel his warmth even though his body isn't touching mine.

It is like everything vanishes from my brain the moment he touches me. I can't think of anything else except the warmth coming from him and his hands that are gently rubbing my tense shoulders. My heart is pounding and I try to focus on my breathing and not on his hands.