Lost in The City // H.S.

Chapter 43

HARRY POV

Three weeks. Three weeks since I told Anna I was leaving. But I'm not choosing to leave, I'm not abandoning her. But every time I look at her it feels like that. This is everything the band and I have been working towards for five years. I HAVE to do this. Not just for me, but for them as well.

But that idea seems dull and lifeless in comparison to the way Anna has been looking at me these last three weeks. It doesn't even feel like she's looking at me anymore, more like looking through me. As if she is preparing herself for my departure.

I hate to admit it but I almost expected something like this to happen. It was almost inevitable that I would lose her. Nothing good ever stays in my life and I knew that even when I let her in.

I couldn't help myself, no one has ever made me look forward to the future the way she does. No one has ever made me feel so alive since Michael died. But now it's like every time I look at her I'm just waiting for her to tell me she's done. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and smash what's left of my heart.

Now here I am, we just finished playing our last show at O'Connells for a while, maybe forever. And now I am drinking a beer I shouldn't be drinking as this annoying brunette that ran up to me five minutes ago continues to drag on about something I don't have the patience to listen to. I don't even pretend to listen to her as my mind replays all the conversations Anna and I haven't had but should have had over the last three weeks. We have been existing in a silence that makes my skin crawl for weeks. But the brunette either doesn't notice or doesn't care as she continues her one-sided conversation.

Anna disappeared with Piper ten minutes ago to use the restroom. I almost wonder if she just decided to call it and leave, it's not like we have said more than two words to each other all night anyway.

"I just LOVE this silk shirt..." The brunette's raspy voice grabs my attention as she places her bony hand on my forearm.

"Thanks," I mumble just now noticing how close she has gravitated towards me.

I glance around the pub again looking for the familiar blue eyes or blonde hair but come up with nothing.

When my eyes flick back to the brunette's muddy brown ones I don't even have time to process what she's doing before she smashes her lips against mine.

ANNA POV

I'm not sure how we got here. The last three weeks have blurred together. It's like I am watching his wall being built in front of me and I want to scream, to tell him to stop. Beg him to let me in but nothing comes out of my mouth.

We still have time together but it's just wasting away because neither one of us knows what to say or do anymore. We don't feel like us right now. I miss him and he is still here. It's such a strange feeling and I hate it.

But suddenly every conflicted feeling from the last three weeks hits me square in the chest knocking the wind out of me.

I see him. On the other side of the pub where I left him ten minutes ago, but now a tall brunette has her mouth attached to his. At first the only thing I feel is betrayal and hurt so deep it breaks something in me. My hands start to shake as adrenaline runs through me.

What the hell is he doing. Then a horrible thought creeps into my head. Maybe this is what he wants. Maybe he wants to hurt me. He would always push me away when he was feeling too much. Is he falling back into his old habits so easily? Is he feeling so much that he is shutting down so he doesn't have to face it. I feel like I have just been waiting for something like this to happen. But could he really do this to me?