His & Mine | Sequel to Make It Known | DISCONTINUED

Chapter Thirty: Research

Chapter Thirty: Research

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Ophelia:

After yesterday's shower I pretty much decided that I was ready for... well, this whole sex thing.

Oh my God, I still blush thinking about it. I don't know exactly what came over me but I was so curious and felt so hot and... The sensations that shot their way up my spine and overtook my entire body for the brief, forbidden seconds I felt his hardness glide against the sensitive skin between my legs were just impossible.

I want to feel like that again.

I try to imagine what it would be like, if he pushed himself into me, all the way. If he were really inside me, and we were together like that. Darn, now I'm blushing some more.

So while I'm mostly sure I want to, I'm just not as sure about the details. I mean, Luke seems so thick and big and I'm just wondering... well. How's he going to fit?

I've never even used tampons before. I use pads because they're just easier, I guess. I've never had anything... up there besides a couple of Luke's fingers. And, well, let's just say that I'm pretty sure his penis is a bit wider than his fingers.

Is it possible that he won't fit? How horrible would that be?

And I don't know how to put on condoms either, but I suppose I should just let him worry about that. My birth control is good to go, so the only other questions are, when and where.

Even though I know, realistically, that the very first time might be... anticlimactic, no pun intended, I still want it to be special, you know? I don't want to be rushed or worried about being caught, and I want us to be able to cuddle after, maybe fall asleep together.

So, I think I need to tell my mom. I've never... done anything really serious in my life without talking to her about it. And what could be more serious than having sex?

Except obviously that's gonna be an awkward conversation and I don't want her to be worried about me or anything like that. I'm kinda hoping, if she takes it okay, that I could... ask her, about some of this stuff. She did tell me that I shouldn't be afraid to talk to her about it. And I just... have so many questions about the actual mechanics of it?

I read so, so many things on the internet, some of which seemed helpful and some of which really, super didn't. A lot of sites recommended using lube. Do I need lube? Do we need to go buy some? It just seems so unsexy and unnatural and I want Luke and I to do it... naturally. Maybe that's stupid. I don't know.

Plus, I mean, I think I get pretty wet. Wet enough, I mean, for when he needs to...

Oh my gosh.

The more I think about it, the more the anticipation and excitement and nervousness starts to bubble and rise and tug low in my stomach and I...

Think it needs to happen.

So.

It's the Monday right after Luke and I had our sleepover. Today was our 4 month anniversary, actually. Which seems like, a lot of time but at the same time, like no time at all. 4 months ago was my sixteenth birthday and I feel like, well. A lot has certainly changed since then. It's just funny to think about, I suppose.