His & Mine | Sequel to Make It Known | DISCONTINUED

Chapter Forty-Eight: Dilemma, Part II

Chapter Forty-Eight: Dilemma, Part II

***

Ophelia:

The entire drive home to my house, my throat feels kinda raw and my eyes prickle.

My lower lip wobbles and I purse my mouth together, frustrated at myself. I mean, this is such a good opportunity for Luke. Of course it is. Full scholarship to like, one of the best engineering programs in the country?  That's amazing. I should be so proud of him, and happy for him.

But when I get home, I rush to my room to avoid talking to anyone, and as soon as my bedroom door closes behind me, hot tears pool in my eyes, streak down my face.

He... He's going to move away, and leave me behind, and...

Kitchener is an hour and a half away from Toronto. I can't even imagine being so far from him.

He's Luke. And he's the love of my life, and we're supposed to be together forever, and...

I've lived ten minutes away from Luke for literally my entire life. We went to school together, and grew up together, and we see each other all the time. What will happen when I can't see him and be with him and hold him anymore?

I smother my face in a wad of tissues and curl up on my bed beneath a fluffy blanket, trying to get myself together, except the tears just won't stop.

I mean, I know I'm probably overreacting. He'll probably get into U of T, which I know is his first choice, but, school is so expensive and, a full scholarship is just... not something you can really turn down, is it?

Should he turn it down so he can stay in Toronto? Should I want him to turn it down, for me?

No, of course not, because that would be selfish and I love him and I want what's best for him but I still... can't live without him. I need him. I love him so much and the thought of being apart from him makes me sick.

What if he goes to university and meets all these new people, all these girls his age, and has all these cool new experiences without me and decides that he doesn't need me anymore? What if he meets another girl who's smarter and prettier and older and funnier and... she's there and he's there and I'm here, stuck in stupid high-school?

My chest aches from trying to stifle the sobs wracking my body and my throat aches, and my heart aches.

Maybe, next year I could apply to go to Waterloo too? But they don't even have a good English program, at all, so that kinda sucks.

Would I pick a sucky English program so I could be closer to Luke? Would he pick a sucky engineering program so he could be closer to me?

I don't know I don't know I don't know...

All I know is that whatever happens, we'll figure it out together, right? Him and I? We're a team and I'm sure we can... find the best solution for him, and me, and us. We have to. There isn't another option.

I'll just wait, for him to hear back from U of T. That's what I'll do, I think.

I scrub the tears away and sniffle away the congestion fogging up my nose. I try to tell myself that it will be okay but my heart doesn't believe it, because it keeps aching in my chest, squeezing painfully beneath my ribs.

Why does being in love have to hurt so much?

***

Melanie: