Am I Still The One?

Chapter 11

Ken's POV

I cried once again and my parents hugged me. "I guess you need a time alone. Lydia, let's go." Daddy said as he let go.

"I don't want to leave Ken--okay!" Mom agreed when Daddy raised his brows.

Mommy hugged me tighter, "I am really glad you are awake, my daughter. I know we can conquer everything together. I love you."

"Daddy loves you, too!"

"I love you both. Thank you for everything." I said weakly.

"He'd waited you, patiently. He has every right to know..."

I know he has but he also has rights to live for his happiness, not just live for me with this stupid disease!

"Ken!"

"Ken!" Sigaw ng mga kaibigan ko na tumatakbo papunta sa akin.

I smiled, sadly. "What's wrong with that face?" Thaddeus said.

"I'd regret that I agree on quiting to be assign to you." Jeni commented.

"You'd quit?" I asked.

"Yes, actually we, but that was the decision of the hospital, we couldn't disagree."

Thaddeus interfered, "Huwag muna 'yan pag-usapan! Ken's awake now, let's celebrate." Umupo sila sa magkabilang side ko.

"We miss you so much, Ken."

"I miss you, too. By the way, where is Aurisse?"

"About that..."

"What happened to Aurisse!?"

"Don't panic, Ken." Thaddeus said and  hugged me. He looks at me like he can't believe I am alive.

"Aurisse is having a baby!" Jeni jumped while clapping.

"Really? That's a great news! I thought it's something serious. Since when? I wish I could see her."

"Oh we can call her." Thaddeus started to dial his phone.

"Yes, we should."

"Why call me if I'm here already?" We look at the door, Aurisse was there with Rei.

They walked toward me and hugged me. "When Tita called Aurisse over the phone, she got excited and teary-eyed. We miss you so much, Ken! As Aurisse had said 'no words to express this happiness'." Rei stated.

"I was crying earlier, Ken. Ang tagal ka namin hinintay! We thought you were dying, and we couldn't decipher the thought." Then, the room was filled with cries.

"Group hug!" Said Jeni.

***

"Can I ask? You said you thought I was about to die? What happened?" I asked.

"The doctor asked for permission to do the euthanasia. Euthanasia, in short, mercy killing, since you got so thin and seemed like your body couldn't fight anymore. Hindi kami pumayag, Ken. 120+ days na hindi ka pa gumigising, we didn't agree. Lalo na si Chandler, sabi niya babawi pa siya sa lahat." Aurisse explained.

Napansin kong tumikom ang kamao ni Thaddeus at napalayo ng tingin.

I remembered that day, my birthday. I couldn't forget about that. "What about that?" I asked, even if Dad has said that already.

"He didn't mean it, Ken. Would you believe him?" Aurisse asked.

Of course, I know my Chan loves me so much to do things like that. "Where is Ianne now?"

"We don't know."

That Ianne, she'd hurt my boyfriend back then, how could she has such plans like that? For what? To hurt us again? Especially Chandler?

"Oh, speaking of the devil, bakit wala siya rito? Hindi ba hinintay niya itong araw na gigising ka?" Sabat ni Thaddeus.

"Thaddeus, don't call my boyfriend like that."

"Sorry, I used to use that expression. So sorry." I know this guy doesn't like Ken. He just wants to protect his childhood friend.

"It's okay, Thaddeus. Try to get along with Chandler, please?"

"I can't promise you that but I'll try." He nodded.

***

Nagkuwentuhan kami nang nagkuwentuhan ng mga nangyari this past months. Ang dami kong namiss. But they're filling me in. Thanks to them.

"How are you feeling now, Ken?" Rei asked. This guy really suits Aurisse. A matured and quiet guy. Just like her.

"So I need a plan. I can't tell Chandler that I have this disease, he will worry so much. That's not healthy."

"What disease?" They asked simultaneously.

"Hindi ko pa ba nasabi?"

"We're getting nervous here, Ken. What is it?"

"Okay, do you want to know?"

Would I say this? Oh, I'm such a bother. I can't look at them directly. Loved ones who are suffering because of me is the thing I don't want to happen. But I had no choice. I know God wants me to be strong.

They held my hands, and look at me eagerly. "I have a lung cancer."

After I said that, they cried out loud. Rei hugged Aurisse, Jeni and Thaddeus hugged each other.

Ayoko nito, ibinaon ko ang mukha ko sa mga palad ko at umiyak din. For myself, I accepted it already but for them? It's hard to see they are hurt. Unfortunately, because of me.

"The doctor found out about it and said it was because of my asthma, it became a cancer. The cancer was metastasized all over my lungs."

"Do you need to undergo chemotherapy?"

"Five months to live, I must make every moment count. I don't want pains. I won't get any treatment. I want to be free for my remaining time here."

Thaddeus and Jeni sobbed. Aurisse spoke, "Don't speak like that. Well, are you really sure about that? You need the files to pass on for that decision. When you did, the hospital won't insist anymore."

"Yes, I am sure about that."

How about Chan? The voice inside me asked.

Pretend to have amnesia. I think my brain suggested.

Amnesia? It didn't came to my mind before. What about that? Am I going to pretend and what? Hide this, pretend to be okay, and act naturally.

If I'll do that, I have to act naturally and never give a clue. I have to make all things flow like it is all right.

Would that be possible? Would that be okay? Would that be the best choice?

Won't it hurt Chan?

It won't if you hide it well. My brain, again, commented.

Finally, the question I have been hesitating to answer has come from Aurisse, "How about Chan? Would you tell him?"

"No, I have a plan..." I suddenly answered.