Alone

Seventeen

Even after my legs healed, Tomy refused to let me out on patrol. "To-" I cut myself off at his glare. "Dad, why are you being so adamant about this?" This was the fourth argument today. "Because you were paralyzed! And you're reckless and ignorant. I will not let you die out there!" I gritted my teeth and shoved myself up and out of the chair. "We all know damn well that I can't die! And who's fault was that? I can't grow old now and I'm stuck on this worthless fucking planet until it finally explodes! At least I'm trying to make the most of it!" My voice rose with each word until I was shouting at the top of my lungs. "What did you want us to do? You were dying and injured!" "I wanted you to let me go!" Tony's face fell and I sighed. "I can't. I can't let you go." I turned to walk away from him and the argument. "Well one day you will learn to. And I'm the one that's going to be stuck wishing you were still here."

I pulled on my suit and left the compound, anger still coursing through me. I swung until my arms grew tired. I landed on the roof of a bank and laid back, looking up at the darkening sky. "Peter?" I turned my head and found Wade, mask in hand, looking down at me curiously. "Hey Wade." He sat down, his feet inches from my face. "I would ask where you were, but I saw the news." I laughed bitterly and pulled up my mask. "I died. For a week. And I had to teach myself how to walk again." Wade's eyes widened ever so slightly. "Ya know, being immortal won't be so bad. I at least have someone to spend it with." I flicked my eyes to him and he smiled shyly. "Glad you think so kid. I'm guessing Ole' Tin Can wouldn't let you out?" I nodded slowly and turned my attention back to the sky. "I...Sometimes I regret this. I regret ever doing what I do." Wade leaned forward, his hand touched my hair hesitantly. I leaned into his touch and he started to run his fingers through my hair. "Why is that?" I sighed and closed my eyes. "Because maybe I could be normal. I mean sure, all my relatives are dead and I'd probably be homeless if I hadn't been Spiderman. But at least I wouldn't feel guilty when someone dies or angry when my responsibilities get to great. I'm almost 17 and I have the worst luck. I've lost everyone. I've died twice. I was so mentally fucked that I willingly put myself in a hospital. And I wanted to die so bad I threw myself in front of a man who almost killed me just to take 15 bullets."

Wade stayed silent for a moment. "I've tried. All the ways one could even imagine taking a life, I've tried it. And trust me, everytime I wake up, I feel shittier than when I was trying to die in the first place. But I found someone who made it tolerable. She died. And it sucked again. But then I met you. And somehow it seems okay, not perfect, but okay." I opened my eyes and looked at the man I've come to know in the last few months. "Did we just admit to liking each other?" Wade snorted and removed his hand from my hair. I bit back a frown and Wade smiled. "I guess we did."

"Peter!" I put a hand to my ear, listening. "What?" Steve's voice came through, controlled by angry. "Come home right now." I rolled my eyes and looked at Wade sadly. "I have to go." He nodded and I pulled on my mask, standing up. I turned to leave, "Wait!" Wade pulled me into a hug, his hands finding the edge of my mask and pulled it up just over my nose. "I think you're grounded for life, and I don't know when I could see you again.." I rolled my eyes and pushed myself up on my tippy toes, cutting him off with a kiss. He grabbed my face and kissed me back, his scarred lips feeling nice against mine. "Peter..." Steve warned in my comms. I pulled back from the kiss and smiled. "I really do have to go." Wade frowned before kissing me once more. "I'll see you around Spidey." I leaned over the edge of the bank and fell, saving myself last minute.

I got back to the compound. I made it just inside the door before my arm was being pulled by one of the many superhumans. I attempted to jerk away but the grip only got tighter. Steve pulled me into Tony's lab. "If you're mad at me for sneaking out, I did stop a robbery today." Steve let me go and both men crossed their arms. "Friday play today's patrol." My eyes widened as soon as my voice played through the comms. "...I wanted to die so bad I threw myself in front of a man who almost killed me just to take 15 bullets." The recording stopped and I sighed, pulling off my mask. I rubbed my tired eyes and shrugged. "I wish I could say there was an explanation." Tony went to open his mouth, but Steve beat him to the punch. "You're just stupid enough to actually try that. Whether you thought you couldn't die or not, it was stupid and reckless." I gaped at him before my anger returned. "You think I didn't think about it! Do you have gunk in your ears or are you just not listening? I wanted to die Steve! I've been so much of a worthless, grumpy asshole lately. I threw a fit and nearly got myself killed, not to mention you two fighting. I got kidnapped because I just had to be the hero. I did think it through! In the end I didn't care if I was dead or not! You want to know why? Because I hate living here when I have no one. I killed my aunt and my uncle. My parents died trying to protect their project which in turn made me into this freak and I've been nothing but mopey! Poor me, I've lost my entire bloodline, oh no. And you think I'm just being a reckless teenager? Open your eyes and see that I'm depressed and if it weren't for my immortality, I would've thrown myself off the top of the roof as soon as I woke up from being dead."

I stormed off, tears in my eyes and a pit in my stomach. They actually didn't care for me. I got to the elevator and pushed my way through the doors. Clint and Nat stared at me suspiciously. "Where to Peter?" "The roof." Friday did as I asked and brought me to the roof. I got out of the elevator and walked out into the breeze. I let the tears fall down my face as I stared at the stars. I miss Wade. He always made things better. He made me realize I had a responsibility.

I really hate doing this.