A Prose With No Direction

- - - -

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

What the hell is that noise?

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Who the fuck is calling at this hour?

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

It's a friend, she answers.

Which one?

Your best one.

Legs swing themselves to hang off the bed, my spine straightening up to reach for my phone. Fingers intertwine themselves into my hair as the other set crawl to grab the call.

For the first time in two weeks, I've talked to an actual being.

"Hello?" The voice that retches out of me is raspy and sore as if I am plagued with the Virus. 

I sound awful.

"Hey, it's been awhile," the caller says, all bubbly and friendly. 

She talks to me as if we were friends.

Are you, though?

"We haven't seen you in a month," the caller continues. 

"You never bothered to visit," I respond. 

"You know that if I had the time, I would." The caller's sweet voice is as deadly as my mind.

She's still a liar.

"So you finally have the time now?" I ask.

"Oh, yes!" The caller exclaims. "Actually, I called to invite you to this party."

"Party?" I echo.

You were a party girl, then, weren't you?

"Yes!" The caller says. "The kids from our old school are hosting a reunion on the yacht. It'd be a shame if you didn't go."

Doesn't a yacht float on water, though?

"That seems fancy," I respond.

"I know, right?" She squeals. "You remember—? Yeah, his family is sponsoring the event."

"Of course they did." I fake a chuckle.

"So, will you come?" She persists. "I'll pick you up at the house if you want."

I look to the little girl who sits besides me.

I haven't been out in months, I tell.

You promised you'll learn, she warns.

I promise I won't touch the water, I tell.

You promised you'll learn, she warns.

I swear I won't do anything reckless, I say.

Then remember to keep your promise, she says.

"Hey, are you still there?" The caller asks.

"Oh, yeah." I nod. I glance at her again. "What time will it be?"

"Seven at night," she responds.

"I'll be ready at six."

The caller screams in excitement.

"—Oh, my gosh!" She says. "Can't wait to see you then. It really has been a long time."

I fake a laugh once more.

"Yeah, it's been a while." I nod.

"Well, okay. I'm gonna go now. See you tomorrow." 

The caller hangs up.

I set the phone down.

You promised to learn.

I hear her voice echo in the room.

I promise to not touch the water.

.

.

.

.

The value of friendship is as great as the value of a penny.

A penny is common.

A penny is temporary.

A penny is not worth much.

A penny is like a friend. 

Pennies come and go. They sometimes make a significance in our life by saving us from spending a whole dollar bill on a bar of chocolate, but in truth, they don't really do much. They eventually leave us to be handed over to the cashier, never to be seen again unless Fate determines it to be. A penny is like a friend.

Common.

Temporary.

Useless. 

Friends who once shared all-nighters and secrets now pass by each other in the halls, ignoring each other's very existence. Best friends yesterday, strangers today. This is the truth about friends.

Like love, friendship may be strong and valuable at the moment, but when the tides and the storyline changes, the friendship becomes as useless as a penny. 

I don't believe in friendship.

Not like how I used to.

I now see that friendships are as easily lost as lovers.

And that they easily die as family.

I believe that solitary helps you avoid the sadness of friendships breaking.

By having friends, you have something to lose.

By having something to lose, you gain weakness.

By gaining weakness, you have no defense against evil.

Friends are like pennies.

I have discarded all the pennies I have collected in my life.