A Prose With No Direction

words in a sentence

I've never liked grammar when I was in school. 

To me, it was pointless, the way we use capitals, commas, colons, and whatever stupid symbol is out there for an English teacher to nitpick on your essay. 

To me, grammar just made me hate English.

But English is still my favorite subject. 

Although I didn't take an interest in the mechanicals of a sentence, I did have a fascination for the words.

From vocabulary to synonyms, antonyms, homonyms, and everything in between, I enjoyed the words and their definitions. 

I enjoyed the words and their meanings.

The words and their friends.

The words and their enemies. 

The words and their twins. 

I took an interest on the words of a sentence, because that was its makeup . 

A sentence's genetics. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Words are what make a sentence come alive.

It's what gave them life. 

Anyways, I was especially fond of certain words and their certain friends—their synonyms.

I mainly took an interest on the word life and its friend existence. Both life and existence are synonymous in meaning, but yet, their context are contrasting.

Life and existence are like the synonyms house and home. 

Both mean residences. 

But a house is simply a residence. 

While a home is a residence with life. 

With happiness.

With comfort. 

With security. 

With love.

That is why to have a home is more preferred than to have a house.

Because a home never leaves you.

But you can always leave a house. 

Life and existence, in a way, are the same.

Take existence. 

Existence is just being there.

Being in the world your were brought into. 

Existing in a place. 

Existence, in an insane perspective, is like a plant.

A plant is existing. 

It's being in the world it was brought into.

However, life is different.

Life is experiencing what it means to be living.

Life, in an insane perspective, is like a human.

A human is living.

Because it experiences life's opportunities and obstacles, successes and failures, happiness and sadness. 

Life, like a human, is more than just being there.

It's more than just existence.

Life is taking hold of new and old experiences and using it to actually live.

I think that's what life is all about.

To experience. 

And unlike a human, a plant can never live, not in the kind that allows it to experience. 

It can simply just exist. 

Though the meaning of life and existence is the same, the feeling is not.

So what would you choose?

An existence that has you existing?

Or a life that gives you a purpose in living?

I think she of the past would have chosen existence. 

Because existence is much easier than experiencing things you don't want to experience. 

But I think she of the present will choose life.

Since experiences help us grow.

It helps someone learn.

And I want to learn. 

I want to grow.

I want to experience. 

I want live.

Yes.

I want to—no—I need to live.

Since that is the only way I won't end up like him...