Heartless (Zayn Malik Fan Fic)

Chapter Five

I hold his hand, whilst I hear his heart rate beeping on the monitor. I'm in the hospital, watching Zayn's scars on his face, as if expecting them to heal in front of my eyes. The guilt was killing me. I had almost killed him in an explosion. I had been the most fucking stupid person on earth. I had blew up his whole flat, and now he was in a minor coma. His face looked peaceful, his chest slowly rising and falling with every long breath. A tear fell down my face for about the three hundred billionth time today. It fell onto his hand, and my heart lifted for a second, and I thought he would wake up, but his face didn't do a thing. There was no cheesy twitch from his hand that always happened on TV, he just lay there, as sunk into the coma as he had always been. I jumped violently when the door opened, and Ryan's darkly good looks made the room warm. I tried to smile, but more tears came, and I folded my arms round Ryan's waist. He hated Zayn, he hadn't came here for him, but for me, to take me home. I'd been here for hours, I'll admit, and I was so, very tired from crying, but I would hate to leave Zayn's beautiful body lying lonely there. I looked at Zayn through Ryan's hug.

' How could I be such a idiot?' I whisper into Ryan's chest. Ryan looks at me, pulling me away from his muscular chest. He had a reassuring glare in his breath taking emerald eyes, shining like beacons. He brushed away a strand of my hair from my eyes.

' You have been no idiot' he whispered, holding my face in his, ' I love you so much, Jenny'

'I love you too, Ryan' I whisper, cupping his cheek, and reuniting our lips once more. It feels nice, but I pull away. I feel oddly unfaithful if I kiss Ryan and Zayn is in the room. ' I love you...'

He drives me home fast, on the motorway, back to Bradford, and plays some soft, quiet music, whilst I cuddle to his chest. I feel protected in his strong arms, and I feel almost invinsible. I trace his scar from Zayn's pen knife with a small wince. He notices out of his pheripheral vision.

' It's not too bad' he says, his low voice music to  my ears. I let a tear fall, Ryan sees and tries his hardest to console me, whilst driving. He runs a finger up my leg, down again, sending a shiver up my spine. I cry softly out, and close my eyes, then it's just me, Ryan's touch, the quiet music, and the slight adrenaline from the speed we're going at. I suppose I would be in bliss if I wasn't so downcast about Zayn. He deserved so much more.

' More' I moan. Ryan chuckles, tries to kiss me, but the car skids, and I shout out.

' Ryan!' I shout, just as he swerves a little. He breaks off, laughing.

' I'd risk it for you' he chortles. I scowl, but I'm touched. We arrive home pretty soon after, and he grabs my lower hip, and draws me in. He rubs our crotches together teasingly. I moan out again, and try not to loose control. We are just outside my house.

' Come in, spend the night here' he murmures, kissing my neck passionatley.

' I can't' I whisper, ' It'd be like making love to wax, I'm just so tired...'

Ryan laughs heartily, and teases me more. I have to shove him gently off of me to stop myself going too far on the bloody pavement. I rest a hand on his shoulder, kiss him goodnight, and walk inside my house, and then run to my bedroom, fall to the bed, and go instantly to sleep.

I wake up from the gentle touch of my dads hand on my shoulder. Shit. School today. I felt dead, incomplete, transparent, so why would I need to go to school? I groan, and I feel sick, kind of, sick of foreboding. I feel a floody of duty, to see Ryan, however. I turn round to see my dad, kneeling beside me, sunshine flooding through the window.

' Time to get up, Jennifer' he murmures. I nod, he leaves, and I get dressed, and ready, leaving around half an hour later. The cold of the day hits my face, and I wince. I feel so weak and tired, I just wish to be in my bed for a long a possible. I don't notice Niall's smiling face until it's right in front of me. I smile weakly at him.