February 1, 2020
Dang I've been so fricking busy with allot of things, I dont really come on wattpad as much as i used to. I mean i got Instagram (secretly) and I met a bunch of people on Monkey. So I just expanded my online friend community. I kinda feel bad for not texting you guys all the time, so I'll try to be on here more often.
Another reason why I'm always gone-
I like someone!!! But its not just anyone! It's a person I really really like. This person means allot to me. I just dont know how to tell them that I like them, but I kinda feel like they like me too.
Heres why I'm scared to tell them that I like them.
Well, "them" is a girl. Yeah, she's the first girl I ever liked.
Also the first person I ever came out to, cuz we had a talk about people being bisexual, but they dont go out of their way to let everyone know, and I kinda felt like what she was getting at is she wanted to know if I was straight or not. So I said that I was bi too. The thing is, I'm pan, not bi, but like I got nervous and my mind was all over the place so I said I was bi.
Oops, at least she knows I ain't straight.
But the problem is, if I tell her I like her, she might tell her friends, and then they might tell other people, and I dont want anyone else knowing that I'm not straight.
Gosh I couldn't imagine if my brother and parents found out. My brother would make fun of me all the time, and my dad probably wouldnt even talk to me, which is a plus. Ugh I wish they could except it if I told them. That's the only reason why I havent told her that I liked her.
Anyways, before I liked this girl, she always used to come up to me and give me hugs. And her and I werent even good friends, she just started hugging me all the time. And like at that time she didnt even know I wasn't straight.
Anyways, after christmas break, I gave her a Joohoney monsta x photocard uwu and she was the happiest person ever. And like it was just so awesome seeing her be so happy.
Like she already has a bubbly personality, but like she was ecstatic!!
Anyways, I think she started to figure out that I liked her, so she stopped hugging me and idek why.
And then something terrible happened.
Her ex asked her to our school dance.
Duuuude why did she even say yes?!?!?!
I guess she was just being nice.
But on Monday the next week, she seemed pissed of and just so sad.
I asked if she was alright, and she said she was fine, but like obviously she wasnt. I asked her if I could braid her hair (random right?) And she said yes.
Anyways, the next day I gave her yoongi stickers, a yoongi photocard, and a namjoon photocard, and bts stickers.
She was sooo happy, and like she didnt hug me tho lol so I hugged her first.
And she was sick yesterday, and at like 2 she texted me and was like "Sorry I was gone, I'm sick" and I said "Yeah I figured" or smth like that. Anyways, the fact that she texted me first just shocked me cuz I always text her first.
And now I'm debating, do I tell her that I like her, or do I not say anything at all.
By the way, she's a senior, and she's 19, I'm almost 16 (February 10). Lol are we even allowed to date? I know a few months ago she dated a freshman, but idk if her b day passed or not.
So her b day is August 31, I just found out lol
Even if her and I did date, it wouldnt be for that long because theres only like 12 weeks left of school omo
Yeah I dont think I'm gonna tell her that I like her, theres so many things that could go wrong.
