solace [bsd (various) x reader]

leave [dazai osamu]

i promise i'll create a fluff for dazai just let me post this very very messy angst ...
i finally finished this uuuuuuuhdhdjd

2022 update: i hope i was able to make a fluffy dazai damn

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the scene was still in ruins despite attaining justice and peace after the triumphant moment the members of the armed detective agency took up this case.

and with the aid of the port mafia, for some reason.

the damp yet broken russet complexion of the walls of the obsolete building that became the base for a battlefield overwhelmed the mysterious and intelligent man, namely dazai osamu.

the clicking of the sole of his shoes rang out and echoed each time he takes a step.

though where was he going?

isn't his business done now that they achieved in gaining the answer they wanted for the now solved case?

dazai stopped in his tracks, sighing through his nose.

well he's going to meet somebody important.

"shouldn't you be leaving?"

dazai only smiled at the question queried to him by that somebody important.

"i could ask you the same, my darling."

you turned around as your melancholic (eye color) orbs met his own mahogany ones, and it was still like before.

you were quite unsure if the emotions his eyes were portraying were true as they visioned love and longing for you.

but you shouldn't take another risk anymore, should you?

after what he has done... isn't it enough to pit yourself under the blade of the guillotine once just for somebody you loved so much who left?

"why are you still here?" you firmly questioned the male, turning your body towards him, your black boots clicking as you moved.

"you still look beautiful as ever," dazai smiled fondly at you and that only made it hard for you to converse with the man.

"if you don't have any good business with me, then let me leave this—"

"leave with me, (first name)." dazai took a step, the space in between minimized as he did so.

"no." you answered, determined. but your eyes told him i want to but i can't.

for dazai knows you really well.

"not even if i kneel down in front of you right now?" the smile that etched dazai's lips, that fond and soft smile, didn't bother to leave his features and it's only making it difficult for you to manage your emotions right now.

"not even if you kneel down in front of me right now." your voice wavered yet you delivered your unrelenting words to your former comrade.

yes, you are part of the mafia and so was he.

was.

are.

that can't be together right?

the past cannot be with the present now right?

dazai chuckled as he placed both of his hands inside the pockets of his ecru trench coat.

"i hope you know that your betrayal to the mafia wounded some people." you cleared your raspy throat as you hoped not to breakdown in front of the man while conveying your thoughts and feelings to him.