solace [bsd (various) x reader]

hold [oda sakunosuke]

i ?? dont have any motivation to write these days bc thesis eating up my mind help what do yall do in thesis defense
this may seem rushed and poorly written bc it is .... it's morning and i have a class to attend to in like 3 hrs or whatever

angsty! as always!

TRIGGER WARNING: death, spoilers

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straightening your white dress, you smiled at the man owning java hued tresses and he returned it with a small smile painting his young and handsome features.

the two of you exchanged nods before you went on opposite ways, you walking to where he was earlier.

it was a short yet solemn walk. the way the breath of the wind softly kissed your bare skin and made your dress and hair dance along with it was a sight to see.

especially to his eyes. you are breathtaking.

reaching your destination, you sat down on the viridescent grass with a peaceful smile.

"hey," you greeted, voice filled with love. cue how the wind softly responded to your greeting, loving how it comes in contact with your exposed skin.

"how are you doing?" you gently queried, eyes scanning over what's in front of you. who's in front of you.

silence overwhelmed the place except for the occasional noises such as the chirping of the birds, the distant yet rare beeping of cars, the rustling of the trees, and many more noises one could name.

but it was soothing, especially around him.

"i'm finally a licensed pediatrician!" you broke the fortunate news, a leaf falling from the branch of the tree above you, as if greeting you a congratulations, you did well!

"the clinic that i've always wanted to have back then is finally becoming a reality."

you shared, disbelief slightly laced in your tone but satisfaction never let it get the spotlight it wants.

you were really happy to have your dreams come true. the dreams that were once thoughts that served as your motivation and building blocks to whoever you are right now.

to achieve one's dream is something all of us yearns to occur.

the palpable elating feeling of achieving something is like a tattoo, embedded on your mind and heart for centuries.

and so are the pain laced in memories.

you chuckled as your mouth felt dry. your throat felt like there were nails pricking every part of it. your eyes felt like in the possession of a demon for they burned like hell.

"i'm so sorry i haven't been able to visit you, sweetheart."

your hand reached out to the ashen stone in front of you slowly, almost as if hesitantly.

you have gotten busy with work matters for weeks that you barely had time for yourself and for him.

for him, most importantly.

what is the definition of yourself if it weren't for him?

"i hope you know that the things i do are always for you, hm?"

the wind bustled lightly, as if your dearest was there with you. as if he were the wind.

"odasaku," you called out softly to the name of your deceased lover, inching closer to the prominent mark indicating where he lays and laid your cheek on it while drawing invisible shapes and lines on the tombstone.

"i miss you so much." you whispered, closing your eyes in the process.

ever since the day he died, things never went the same way as it is.

it was never easy to continue loving somebody who simply never exists anymore.

it was never easy to endure lonely nights and despondent storms without the soft martyr you loved wholly.

it was never easy to seek for the warmth he always has in the middle of the night for your lover laid cold beneath the sod.

how is he? how are you?

with half lidded orbs, you traced back to some of the memories you shared together, all of it playing so vividly in your mind.

you smiled.

"hey, odasaku?"

you paused, as if waiting for his response.

"remember when you asked me once: who's hand will i hold if your hand isn't there for me to hold?"

pause.

you closed your eyes, a stray yet pristine warm tear flowed down from your eye.

the wind still hasn't stopped blowing yet it was still tranquil.

it was like he is also present in the scene.

your lips formed a wide smile, fighting the quivering brought by your emotions.

"i'll hold on until i hold you in my arms again."

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any filipinos here who likes poems?
w e l l , i know two books created by sarucalyace that are like daggers cuz bro they will puncture ur heart bc they rly hurt
:(

n e ways !!!! i hope yall liked this!!!! take care always!!!!