Learn To Love Again {COMPLETED}

Chapter 12

Steven's P.O.V
I can't believe what I did to Spinel. The gems stopped me from going into the temple, not that I blame them at all. They just saw a whole new side of me they've never seen before. Plus it would be best to let her be alone. I never wanted to hurt her.. This can't be our end. Just the thought of it breaks my heart in two.

Using my healing spit, I healed Aquamarine and Eyeball's gem. They immediately fled after in pure fear. The looks on their faces gave that away. What was this rage inside me? Where did it come from. It then hit me like a ton of bricks, my mom... Of course...

My mother had an anger like never seen before. Now that I'm getting older and becoming a teenager my emotions are becoming much more unstable.

"Yo Steven," Amethyst sits down next to me. "What was that back there? I've never seen you so angry, it was almost disturbing."

I put my hands to my face and let out an exhausted sigh. "I don't know anymore... I think it was from my mom.."

"Rose? She never had any anger," Pearl had joined the conversation at this point. "She was a healer, yes her powers were based on her emotions but she never had this unstable anger."

"Then where the hell do you think I got it from, Pearl?! Because it certainly wasn't me," I snap as she flinches back. "S-sorry.."

Amethyst places her hand on my shoulder. I'm close to crying at this point, what was happening to me? I was losing control of myself, powers and emotions alike. The Gems look at me like I'm some stranger, I nearly let Dad die, and worst of all, Spinel may break up with me. This is all getting too much for me and I don't know if I can do this anymore! Then Garnet walks up and bends down in front of me.

"Steven, just talk to us. You know we can help you" The fusion says. Part of me wants to listen to her, to take her advice and open the dam blocking my feelings from speaking. However, the larger part of me just won't budge. Along with Pearl, Garnet lied to me too many times for me to trust that she'll understand anything I'm going through.

"I just....need some time to think" I say, my voice all gravely. I then push past Garnet and walk towards the Temple. The Gems call to me telling not to go in there, but fortunately for them, that's not what my aim is. Using my shield in a very Magneto-type fashion, I float up to the hand of the Temple Statue, stepping onto its Warp Pad shortly and Warping away. As to where I'm headed, I hope Spinel won't be there.

I touch back down at Rose's fountain, the area as quiet and tranquil as I last remembered it. Stepping off the Warp Pad, I head right to the very spot I want to be at and as I stand before the statue of Mom in her Rose Quartz form, I begin to wonder what she would think of this. Would Pink have done better in my place or would she have caused much more destruction than I have? The answer eludes me.

Sighing, I turn around and sit down on the lip of the fountain pool. Resting with my chin on my fist, I can't help but think that maybe Spinel is just better off without me. I've hurt once already and who knows how many times it may happen again?! I promised her that I'd always be there for her, but as of now, I don't know if she even wants me around anymore. Ugh, if I had just controlled myself!!!

Standing back up in anger, I turn around and punch at the spot where I was just sitting at. My bionic arm takes a pretty big chunk out of the stone, but even that doesn't satisfy me. When I'm in this frame of mind though, I doubt any amount of breaking things would calm myself, bringing instead more craving for violence. Looking down at my hand, fingers arched like claws, I clench it tight and breathe in and out deeply. Maybe if I could learn how to control these new powers of mine, I wouldn't make the same mistake again. Maybe then I won't be so much of a failure.