Learn To Love Again {COMPLETED}

Chapter 14

Spinel's P.O.V
My love's words linger as the phone screen goes black. He just hung up a second ago and already do I feel lonely. It's so much worse without him and part of the way through our conversation, I was tempted to urge him to come back. But still, I resisted. We both know that this is the right thing, but I need my Steven now more than ever! I messed this whole thing up and I wish that Steven would come home right now so that I could explain how sorry I am and we'd continue on as if this was all some cruel trick. Oh, what I wouldn't give for that to be true!

"Spinel! Dinner's ready!" Pearl calls up the stairs.

"Coming!" I call back, my voice cracking from a potential sob.

Holding the fusion's phone firmly in one hand, I solemnly rise from my and Steven's bed. A heavy sense of sadness and regret runs through me like the poison from that gem injector, making each movement of mine down the steps painful. As I saunter into the living room, and furthermore the kitchen, I see the sympathetic looks from the Gems and Connie. Feeling in no mood to talk, I take my seat and bury my face in my arms with my head against the table. All I really want to do is go back to the empty bed and cry, but it wouldn't be healthy for me. It hurts missing something this much. It really does.

"Are you sure you won't stay for dinner?" Pearl asks "Spinel really seems to like confiding in you and we all know she needs it".

"I'd love to, but I don't want to crowd her either. Besides, if it was me in her position, I'd want to be alone with my thoughts and let things work themselves out on their own. Trust me, I'd love for her to talk to me about this, but she's done it once already earlier today and I don't want to be overbearing" Connie replies.

"Well, I appreciate your efforts and am thankful for each and every one of them" Pearl says. Footsteps then sound and the creaking of the front door signals her impending exit.

"Bye, Spinel! Have a good night!" Connie calls.

I raise a weak thumbs up and quickly put my hand back down, the door closing. It's dead quiet in the Temple now. I can tell the Gems are looking at me, probably wondering how I'm feeling too. I'd imagine that they're pretty broken up about Steven leaving as well. After all, he's lived with them for his entire life so far and is like family to them. I wish I could talk to them about this, but some small part of me still isn't a hundred percent trusting of them. No doubt the same can be said about them regarding me too.

A 'thunk' then sounds in front of me, so I lift my head up and look to see that Pearl has placed a bowl of soup in front of me. Watching her set the table for the rest of them, I notice that no one else got soup out than me, which means Pearl made this explicitly for me. I nod and smile weakly at her when she passes, the thin gem smiling back in response.

Everyone then begins to gather around the table, taking their seats and delving into both the food and plentiful conversation alike. I don't want to be disrespectful, so I take up the spoon provided and start consuming the soup. The warm liquid brings a relaxing feeling pouring down the inside of my neck, calm and collectedness following in its wake. I turn and begin to tell Steven what awesome soup this is, but my face falls upon seeing the empty chair on my right and being reminded of the harsh reality I'm still living in. A reassuring hand on my shoulder from Garnet makes me look over, an empathetic an understanding glance awaiting me. She needs no words to explain what she means and neither do I.

Dinner keeps going at a slow and painfully prolonged pace, the internal torture never ceasing. Before I notice, or even care to notice, everyone's taking their dirty dishes to the sink. Standing up sadly, I do the same and place my bowl alongside the others. I then go to leave, wanting to upstairs, but a voice stops me after I take a few steps.

"Spinel?" Pearl calls. I look over my shoulder, seeing the Gems all looking back.

"I know we may not be on the most solid of terms, but I want you to know that you can talk to any of us about this if you want to" She offers.

"Agreed" Garnet adds.

"Yeah, dude, we're here for ya" Amethyst chimes in.

I mumble out a halfhearted 'thank you' and head up the stairs, drawn to the dark and soothing solitude of Steven's room. Walking over, I throw myself onto the bed and let the tears out. Truth is, I've been holding them in all afternoon and only after seeing Steven's face again on that phone call did it worsen. Crying with the force of a flood, I hold Steven's pillow close to my chest, my tears making the fabric wet.

I end up crying so hard that I cried myself to sleep, but my dreams proved to be no sanctuary whatsoever because dreams with Steven and I together just made his absence so much harder.

The Next Morning