I Will Find You

I Never Gave Up

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ (talk of assault)
Skip if needed ❤️

Robbie's POV
After I calmed (y/n) down, I helped her get to the bed. We sat down and I took her hands in mine. I looked into her eyes and saw so much pain. That broke my heart.

"Do you want to tell me what happened when you came in here?" I waited for a response from (y/n), tears still falling from her eyes.

"I thought about the last time I was in here. When I got that phone call from...." she trailed off and closed her eyes. Then she cleared her throat and continued. "I got that call and then I left you to go record with him and that didn't even need to be done anyway. I walked right into a trap. We were supposed to spend a week together, no interruptions. But instead I left you on the first day and then didn't see you for over a month. And then everything that happened. Everything he did..." I wince, remembering the sight of her when I found her. That bastard.

"Baby, this isn't your fault. Don't drive yourself crazy with the thought of you leaving. You thought you were doing the right thing." (Y/n) nods weakly and grips my hands tighter. But then I remembered that I don't even know how this started. What happened when she got there?

"Do you mind telling me how this all started? What happened when you got to the recording studio?" I ask, mentally trying to prepare myself for hearing the horrible things Jim did to her.

She nods and brings her gaze down. "When I got there, I told him I wanted to hurry up so I could get back to you. He then started bad mouthing you and saying that I should be with him, not you. I started defending you but then he saw my..." She trails off and suddenly looks panicked, looking at her hands. Oh wait! Her ring! I quickly get up off the bed and rummage through one of the bags we had brought in. I find a plastic bag with (y/n)'s belongings that they found with Jim, such as her phone, and more importantly, her engagement ring. I quickly pull it out and swivel around so I'm facing her, on one knee.

"Is this what you were looking for?" I ask, smirking. (Y/n) gets off the bed, quicker than I can process and before I know it, she's knocking me over and kissing me.

"Yes baby! How did you find that? I just realized after all this time that I wasn't wearing it! Jim must've taken it off." She said

"The cops gave me a bag of your things that Jim had. I completely forgot about it until now." I say. "Thank you baby!" She exclaims, with the most beautiful smile across her face.

Her smile then drops. "Let me tell you the rest of the story." She gets up and grabs my hand, leading me back to the bed.

"So when he saw my ring, he completely freaked out. I told him that I was never gonna be with him because I love you and that was just the way it was gonna be. But he grabbed me and kissed me and next thing I knew I was waking up in a dark room with no knowledge of where I was. He then took my clothes, tied me up, and beat and raped me day after day, just leaving me there cold and hungry." I blink tears away that threaten to spill over as I listen to what had happened to her.

"I just kept thinking that you're the only person who should ever be inside me and it makes me sick that suddenly this other guy was touching me and doing that. Now I just feel so dirty and contaminated at the fact that he saw me naked and did things to me when only YOU should see me naked and do things to me." My heart broke at her words. She was used and I am pissed. I don't even know what to say.

"I'm disgusted that the last person inside me wasn't you. That the last person I had sex with wasn't you. I feel terrible. But I also feel terrible because I'm scared to have sex again. I don't want to have a panic attack in the middle of it. I'm scared I'll picture it and forget that it's you and I'll start freaking out. This isn't fair to you."

I take her face in my hands. "Listen to me. That was not your fault. I may not be the last person to have sex with you, but I'm the last person you've made love to. Okay, Jim will never get that. Jim is locked away in prison for the rest of his life and now it's just you and me. And you absolutely don't have to feel bad about not having sex with me right away. What you went through was traumatizing. You need to take as much time as you need because if you're not comfortable with it, we don't do it okay? This relationship is not built off of sex. It's built off of love. When you're ready, that's when we'll do it. And we can take it as slow as you need. You have nothing to be sorry about." I finish my speech and pull her into a hug.

"I love you so much. Robbie, I thought of you every single day and all I wanted was exactly this moment...to be in your arms again. Robbie Shapiro, I love you." (Y/n) sniffles into my shoulder and I hold her tiny body a little tighter, pulling her closer to me.

"I love you too. I never gave up."

She then pulls away and looks at me. "There's actually one more thing I thought about that I couldn't wait for."

"What's that?"

"I wanna take a shower."

I chuckle and kiss her cheek. "Go for it babe." (Y/n) laughs and heads towards the bathroom. I could never get tired of hearing that beautiful laugh.