My Mom is Dating a Werewolf

Chapter 1 "He's a big boy"

'My life was anything from what you would call normal, but then again I know some other people who would mope and whine about it. For me, I stopped giving a shit about it a long time ago. I found there to be about 20 rules to surviving in America which are:

1. Do not live in a Red state. They love their bible and their guns.

2. Do not live in a place where there are more people than trees. Cameras are everywhere.

3. Do not live in a place where there are more sheep than people. They have a herd mentality.

4. Make sure to have easy access to prey. It's awkward dragging a carcass through the town.

5. Maintain a steady supply of meat. You can't hunt during the day moron!

6. Do not behave like a canine in public. At least try to be subtle...no pissing on trees.

7. Make sure your mate has some intelligence. It's great that she likes you, but telling everyone on Facebook about her bf being a wolf...not so much.

8. Stay away from human children! Remember the intelligence thing?

9. Always have a safe zone to transform. You're going to need a bigger bathroom.

10. Find a job that is less stressful but pays well. Because Taxes, Permits, Utilities, Gas, New Clothes, and other stuff you wreck.

11. Do not drink a lot. You don't want to hear your neighbor talking about what a giant wolf creature was doing to their mailbox.

12. Take breaks often. You are a lot more pleasant to be around when you're less of an asshole to everyone.

13. Get plenty of exercise. It's a great way to attract mates...just don't overdo it.

14. Be careful while mating with humans when they say they like it rough. Keep in mind you have the strength to flip a hummer over one handed.

15. Mate every day or so. If you can't find a mate, then it's going to be one lonely night.

16. Get to know your fellow Lycanthropes. You are stronger in a pack.

17. If you turn a human into a Lycanthrope always have a method to contain and control them...better yet, just don't turn them in the first place.

18. Physics and Chemistry don't work well for Silver bullets. They are too light and besides that Silver is one of the least reactive metals.

19. If there are Mercenaries or professional hunters after you. Just take their picture and call the cops.

20. If you ever have pups, do not keep your lycanthropy a secret. I mean it, don't be cute and only say that their bodies are going to change, you schmuck!

Living by these rules has always helped me live a happy and safe life. I'd really hate to break any of them'

•••○○○•••

It was a sunny Saturday morning in mid-June. It was almost tourist season again in the quiet town of Springfield, Oregon. It was a blue collar town nestled in the McKenzie River valley at the foothills of the Cascade Range. It was on the other side of the freeway from the college town of Eugene and often called a very sketchy town to those who lived on the outside. For most inside, they did not have much of a choice in the matter, but even now gentrification has begun to rear its ugly head into our town; however, something else has been lurking in our town for much longer, and you would never believe me if I told you. I will try my best to tell you how I met him.