Chapter 20

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"Class dismissed," Harry, Ron and Hermione gathered their books and stood up.

"Wait a moment, Harry," Lupin called. "I'd like a word. "

Harry doubled back and watched Professor Lupin covering the Hinkypunk's box with a cloth.

"I heard about the match," said Lupin, turning back to his desk and starting to pile books into his briefcase, "and I'm sorry about your broomstick. Is there any chance of fixing it?"

"No," said Harry. "The tree smashed it to bits. "

Lupin sighed, "they planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts. People used to play a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. In the end, a boy called Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye, and we were forbidden to go near it. No broomstick would have a chance. "

"Did you hear about the Dementors too?" said Harry with difficulty.

Lupin looked at him quickly.
"Yes, I did. I don't think any of us have seen Professor Dumbledore that angry. They have been growing restless for some time. . . furious at his refusal to let them inside the grounds. . . I suppose they were the reason you fell?"

"Yes," said Harry. He hesitated, and then the question he had to ask burst from him before he could stop himself. "Why? Why do they affect me like that? Am I just...?"

"It has nothing to do with weakness," said Professor Lupin sharply, as though he had read Harry's mind. "The Dementors affect you worse than the others because there are horrors in your past that the others don't have. "

A ray of wintry sunlight fell across the classroom, illuminating Lupin's gray hairs and the lines on his young face.

"Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can't see them. Get too close to a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself -- soul-less and evil. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life. And the worst that happened to you, Harry, is enough to make anyone fall off their broom. You have nothing to feel ashamed of. "

"When they get near me..." Harry stared at Lupin's desk, his throat tight. "I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum. "

Lupin made a sudden motion with his arm as though to grip Harry's shoulder, but thought better of it.

There was a moment's silence, then, "why did they have to come to the match?" said Harry bitterly.

"They're getting hungry," said Lupin coolly, shutting his briefcase with a snap.

"Dumbledore won't let them into the school, so their supply of human prey has dried up. . . I don't think they could resist the large crowd around the Quidditch field. All that excitement. . . emotions running high. . . it was their idea of a feast. "

"Azkaban must be terrible," Harry muttered. Lupin nodded grimly.

"The fortress is set on a tiny island, way out to sea, but they don't need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they're all trapped inside their own heads, incapable of a single cheery thought. Most of them go mad within weeks. "

"But Sirius Black escaped from them," Harry said slowly. "He got away. . . "

Lupin's briefcase slipped from the desk; he had to stoop quickly to catch it.

"Yes," he said, straightening up, "Black must have found a way to fight them. I wouldn't have believed it possible. . . Dementors are supposed to drain a wizard of his powers if he is left with them too long. .."

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