Any Day Now- Yoonmin

discontinued

hi its been over a year sorry i forgot this existed which is probably for the better because oh my god this is the cringiest shit i was literally 14 thinking i was relatable and different good lord

but I would like to thank people for being so nice i really do love to write this story was just really not vibing with me. i didnt expect 9k reads but i just came back to that?

i don't even know if anyone is reading this but i'm not going to keep writing it i might delete it? 

but what I was wondering is if I should write something else? like not fanfic- fincficti- i cant even say it im gonna throw up 

anyway i was thinking maybe I could just write someting completely made up and stop trying to be someone I'm not writing about people that exist and have real lives that shouldnt have stories made up about them. lmk if i should. 

if anyone gives a shit: ive had a really weird year i don't know why but this whole school year has just felt really off and while I know a lot of things are different than last year, I'm still freaked out as to why I feel so  unlike myself and why life feels so weird and not like itself. maybe i'm just growing up but I haven't ever felt so unlike myself and i'm so freaked out by time passing and life changing its kind of like an existencial crisis. I started therapy I really hope it helps. they said it sounds like anxiety and depression and i've had anxiety since i was ten but the idea of having depression genuinely scares me. everyones like 'oh haha im so dEpreSseD' but when you're actually faced with it its so scary. I'm so scared that I'll never feel okay again.

enough of that no one cares! ha!

also I broke my leg? I tried figure skating and fractured my fibula because I can't do anything right! I just start things too late and then fail. 

I've been on crutches for four weeks.hopefully i get my cast off on Feb 11 because high school on crutches is really hard. People don't care enough to actually be nice to you they just care enough to give you a weird look. 

also i'm really going through it over a guy rn.

SO anyways if anyone read that thank you. lmk if i should delete this. 

p.s. I saw BTS once while I was writing this on the LY tour at Prudential in Sep. 2018 and then since I stopped I saw them at Metlife in May 2019 for SY and cried and had horrible pcd after. I'm seeing them in Toronto in May 2020 and I feel so weird about it becuase I'm scared I won't enjoy it because I'll be thinking about how I feel off?? but thats not for a while so hopefully I feel better.

thank you