Romanogers One-Shots 2

I Can't Stop Losing You

Angsty one just because I'm feeling angsty right now. 

The first time Steve lost Natasha was right after they brought Hydra down. 

In the time they had spent together, he had fallen head-first in love with her without even realizing it was happening. 

The only problem was that it was Natasha. Natasha, who blocked out love and especially didn't date. As far as Steve was concerned, she'd never feel the same for him. 

It hurt, but what hurt more was watching her leave after they were finished. His mission wasn't done yet. He still had to find Bucky. But he had hoped that maybe Natasha would come with him. 

He wasn't prepared to watch her leave. 

It had felt like a dagger to the chest and when she gently pressed her lips to his cheek as they parted ways, he wondered if maybe, just maybe, she did have feelings for him. 

"Be careful Steve," She had told him, but it hadn't felt like an order, more like a request. Like she wanted him to be okay. 

And that made Steve's hopes soar a little higher then they ought to have, especially since he had no idea when he would see her next. 

As she walked away, Steve's mind searched for a way to say goodbye to her. Coming up with nothing until he was so panicked that he called out her name, "Natasha!"  

She turned around slightly, her eyebrow raised slightly. 

Steve sighed, "Keep in touch, okay?" 

Natasha nodded and Steve swore she looked almost disappointed, "I will. I'll see you soon?" 

Steve nodded and watched as she smiled and then walked away. 

He sighed and wondered if he was making a mistake. 

"You gonna let her go?" Sam asked from behind him. 

Steve turned around with a frown, "I think I have to...she'll be back. We both will." 

Sam sighed, "I know...we could've used her help though." 

Steve nodded, "She'll be there if we need her."

"You sure?" Sam asked, walking alongside Steve as they left the graveyard.

Steve nodded again, "I'm positive." 

------------------------------------------------------

Steve was thrilled the next time he got to see Natasha. It had been a while but nothing about his feelings had changed. If anything, they had grown. 

He didn't realize that it would mean losing Natasha again. 

A few days into the Avengers coming back together, Tony had decided to host a party. 

Steve was excited, despite hating most events like this, because it would give him the chance to talk to Natasha in a casual setting. 

He didn't expect for her to spend the night flirting with Banner. 

That one had hurt like a bullet to the throat. Walking away willingly was hard, but this...this was fucking torture. 

He watched as she and Bruce talked at the bar. As she leaned forward onto the counter and said things to Bruce that made him blush in the same way Steve did when she teased him. 

Jealousy wasn't even the word for how he felt. He couldn't be jealous when he had never even told Natasha his feelings. This was more like regret.