Broken Glass

Coffee cups

       The two stood there without speaking. Emily let him take a moment and have his morning coffee, not yet sipping at hers. She stood there and watched as his throat worked with each sip. Slowly his color returned and the brightness of being awake filled his eyes. Emily had never been a morning person but soft mornings before he had to leave for the day were always worth it. 

      Watching him wakeup had always made something warm and strong settle behind her heart; Usually he wasn't in his work clothes yet. . Allen always looked so fluffy and pliable. A soft breeze could mold him to whatever shape took its fancy. She never knew how many times she touched and how many times she reached for him before now. Like when you get your hair cut and keep running your hands to the end. Every time you run into the empty space its a shock. 

      She brings the mug up to her lips and took a sip. Allen looked at her fully awake now, color filling his cheek. 

"My turn for breakfast?" she asked 

     She goes to dump her dink in the sink and leave, feeling Allen's eyes on her back. She placed the mug down and jumped, holding her breath in order to hold in a sob. A gentle tentative hand rested on the back of hers. Uncurling her fingers. She sniffed. 

"Not today" he said. 

She nodded, blinking rapidly. 

"Yeah, okay of course" she said, making sure to smile at him.

His hand squeezed hers before he poured more coffee into a travel mug. 

"Gotta go" he said, kissing her forehead in passing. 

  She froze but he didn't seem to notice as he moved away. He grabbed his messenger bag and was out the door. The door clicked shut and she slumped against the counter. No longer feeling like cooking she grabbed some lunchmeat, throwing a piece to Cookie as she passed. 

   Moving into the bedroom she took a breath before opening the door. She was startled to see Allen had set their wedding photo on his bedside table. Unable to start herself she picked it up. Emily let her fingers trace their faces. It was her favorite memory from that day. Though it only hurt now. 

      It was in-between pictures where they were being directed into their next pose. They had been told to get in close. 

Allen said "Like this?"  his voice warm and self-satisfied.

   That was the only warning Emily go that he was up to something. He was always up to something. Still she couldn't stop her choked sound of surprise as one had pulled her right into him and the other pressed into the small of her back. There was nothing for her to do except to rest against him. She pressed her face into his chest before he pulled her up for a kiss. It was only after the face where she noticed the click of the cameras. She fought against the blush rising up in her cheeks. The photographer had managed to get that one second before the kiss. Emily and been leaning back laughing with Allen leaning forward, sugar- sweet smile resting on her face. It had made her melt then and still made melt now just looking at it. 

     She put the picture down softly. Her fingers played with her ring as she stood there. She turned away, moving to her bag. Her heart broke as she saw it was mostly empty. Slowly she walked around the room collecting anything she really needed. Leaving anything behind that felt too closely tied to them. As she went to start fitting everything in she paused. Reaching in she pulled out a notebook.  There was nothing special; it was just a green spiral notebook. Something she would grab to jot down the start of her next manuscript. But she hadn't used this one and she hadn't packed it.  She opened the cover before slamming it shut. 

     The handwriting inside was familiar but it definitely wasn't hers. She went to put the book aside and an envelope slid out. 

It read

If you really need to go, at least let me get you safely home 

   She opened the envoloup and recognized it immediately. Emily got up and walked briskly over to the closet, pulling out the little brown jewelry box. Moving back to the bag she sat beside it and closed her eyes. Slowly she opened them and the box. It was empty. She wished she was surprised. She looked at the little painting on the box with a small smile. It was simple and sweet and full of hope. They had themed it after 'up' to go on their own adventures. It had never been the right time to go. They were gonna go on a cruise this may. 

   Emily huffed a laugh, not anymore. She would have to cancel that later. It feels like giving up. Placing the box on her nightstand she went back to the bag. She took her time and stood slowly. Walking over to the picture one last time, the movement cooling the tears on her face. Closing her eyes she removed her rings. She placed them down in front of the picture, hearing the dull thud as they met the wood.  Turning away she rubbed at her hand before opening her eyes to look. She'd need to get a new ring to fill the space. 

   Steeling herself she grabbed her bag and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her, Cookie on her heels. On her way out she did a sweep of the rest of the apartment. Slowly walking around the living area. She paused when she came to the coffee table. Emily knew she had put that book away. Smiling to herself, she left it there to let him have his little secret. Still she couldn't resist slipping a sticky note on the inside front cover. 

I love you too    

      There was still one more goodbye left. She crouched down and buried her face in the scruff of Cookie's neck. 

"I love you" she said "and so does your dad"

 Scratching behind Cookie's ears "You'll be okay"

She stood and gave one last look before walking out into the hallway, locking the door behind her. 

Emily knocked on Morgan's door, fighting not to turn back. 

"Gimme a minute" Morgan called 

Morgan opened the door soon after that, her dark hair thrown up in disarray and clothes damp with sweat. She took one look Emily and her bag and her whole demeanor changed. 

Emily tried to apologize. 

Morgan stopped her with a "Come in", stepping out of the door way. 

Emily did. Morgan looked at her waiting for her to speak. 

"Can you drive me to the airport?"