Broken Glass

Slammed Doors

    She was half awake when she heard wet snuffling directly in her ear. Without opening her eyes she gently shoved cookie off her. Fingers stretching out she reached across recoiling at cold sheets, curling back into herself. Waking up more now she could hear Allen moving around the kitchen and smell the bacon. It took a moment before the hurt set in. The breath was stolen right out of her chest. 

    Treading lightly she unlocked the door and peaked out. 

Without even turning around "You can stop hiding" he said. 

Cookie ran by her and put her paws on his knee, begging for scraps. Without breaking tide he threw her a piece of bacon and scratched behind her ears. 

   In the past that picture would've made her melt. She wouldn't have hesitated to join them. To wrap her arms around his waist and her face on his shoulder. He'd let her sway him a bit and finish the eggs before turning around and kissing her. They had spent many mornings just like that. Quiet and peaceful. Those moments have always been her favorite, safe and secure in in his arms. Those moments had been the first to go and they hadn't even noticed. 

   It had started slow. They were busy moving and unpacking boxes. At the end of the night they had fallen into bed and straight into sleep. Slowly she'd wake up further and further from his arms. Then he'd gotten his job and his time at home, his time with her, started shrinking. She hadn't really minded at first. Writing her novels worked best when she was a lone. It was never a question that he'd drop everything for her the moment she needed him. She would do the same without a thought. Somewhere that had stopped. There were times where she'd have dinner ready and on the table. Only to get the call not to wait up. She'd wait up anyway. Wrapping up his dinner before placing in the fridge. He'd ask her to come to a work dinner but she'd have a deadline needing to be met. 

"Its just one night" he'd say 

She'd sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose "I've told you I can't" 

Emily walked over to lay a hand on his arm but he shrugged her off and stepped back. Leaning against the counter. 

"why not?" His voice a whisper, "I want you there" 

She softened even more at that "My agent has been on my back for my final edits" 

He rolled his eyes and she bristled at the obvious dismissal. He never listened. 

"So?" he asked leaning over her now "This is for my job" 

But he wasn't done yet. Allen was so sick and tired of her always ducking out of everything. She never leaves the apartment. 

"And writing is my job!" she said, her volume increasing with every word. 

He came forward even more " Well mine pays the bills" 

He swept his arm out gesturing at the apartment and everything in it. 

"Everything you have I gave to you" He said, voice rigid and unyielding 

"No I-" She tried to speak 

"Two lousy book deals" He grabbed her shoulders "That don't even sell"  

She put her hand on his chest and shoved. Hard. He stepped back. She stepped forward and shoved him again. 

"Fuck off" She said, voice watery and blinking back tears. 

His face sharpened, lip curled. He walked over to the door and wrenched it open. It hit the wall and bounced before stopping.  

"Don't wait up" he said, walking out and slamming the door behind him.  

   Emily bit her lip and sunk down on the stool. She rested her arms on the kitchen counter and buried her face in them, trying to find the energy to get the cereal. A plate was placed noisily in front of her, causing her to jump and look up. Allen smiled crookedly at her and shrugged. 

"Habit" he said, turning to his breakfast.

Emily picked at her scrambled eggs. Before she could get up to get the ketchup Allen slid it into her hand. Her eyes burned. He didn't even make a face when she poured too much on. She stayed quiet until he left for work. He walked by briefly squeezing her shoulder on the way. The moment he shut the door she collapsed again. 

   Out. She just needed to get out. She stumbled into clothes and then into shoes. Cookie followed closely at her heals. Guilt wrapped around her legs, tripping her with every step. Emily crouched down burring her face in the scruff of her neck. She made a silent promise to come back. She wouldn't leave her here. 

  The moment she stepped out, the girl across the hallway opened her door and peaked her head out. 

"Hey, I heard shouting last night" she said "you okay?" 

Immediately she wanted to say yes. She should say yes. She's fine. She wasn't hurt. It was only a fight. Emily just could not get the words out. Every time she tried the words got caught in her throat. 

"No"