Broken Glass

Whispered Cry

   Emily looked from the bags and back to Allen. He raised his eyebrows and his arms and if he genuinely expected an answer. 

"I know you were never great at math but even you can put to and two together" she said

He just stood there. 

"Alright" She said "Lets work through it together" 

She walked over to the closet and opened the door wider. Emily pulled out the bag and dumped it at his foot. Barely resisting from dropping it on his foot. 

"Packed bag" she said pointing to it "Equals me leaving" 

He kicked the bag back at her "I'm not stupid" he said " Why are you leaving" 

"Because you told me to!" she said, voice raising

"I didn't expect you to listen" He yelled back 

"What do you want me to do, Allen?" She said 

He tangled his hands in his hair and paced "I don't know" he said

Emily curled her hands in to fists and walked right up to him "Thats the problem" she said

She turned away for a second before turning back to him "You never know what you want" 

Emily was disturbed by how easily her voice became venomous. How easily her sadness and her confusion became anger. And how easily that anger was directed at Allen. The last person she could have seen herself hurting in anyway. He looked like he'd been slapped. 

"I never know what I want?" he said "What about you?" he tugged at his hair

"You still haven't found a job" he said pointing at her 

"You went to college for four years and don't even use your degree" 

Emily stiffened before exhaling angrily. She started to move around the room shoving even more things into her bag, she didn't even care if they were his anymore. A pillow from their, his bed. 

Still he didn't stop "Now you just write children's stories for pocket change.

"YA novels" she said

"What?" he said, taken aback 

"I write YA novels" she said, straightening from where she was crouched on the floor. 

Emily took a step forward " And my little pocket change" 

She picked up a picture frame and shoved it into his chest, her face wet. 

"Paid for our wedding" she said walked out of the room

Allen looked at the picture and dropped it, running after her. 

"Wait" he called

She paused with her hand on the doorknob. They both stood there and nobody spoke for a few moments. 

Emily took a deep breath "You have three seconds" 

"Where are you going to go" he said, sounding small

She took her hand off the door slowly and turned to face him. Her hands itched to hold him, to hug him, to make all of it to go away. Without thinking she took a step. Then another. And stopped. She shook her head and clenched her fists. The only thing she could take pride in was that she didn't run to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Digging her hands into his shirt and her nose into the crook of his neck. She could feel her fingernails through the fabric. Slowly she felt his hands coming rest on her back. Starting lightly at her shoulder blades and sliding down her back and back again. Her breath hitched and she knew he heard. 

He took one hand and dug it through her hair, pulling her closer "Its alright" 

"No" she shook her head "Allen, its not" 

He shushed her, hands and voice soft and low. The stood like that. Swaying together, side to side in the middle of their living room. Together. Just together. 

"Shit" he said pulling back and shaking his head "Shit"

She looked at him and squeezed his hands "Hey?" 

Allen blinked, his eyes wet "Where are you going to go?" 

"I don't know" She bounced a little forward on her toes "I just can't be here right now" 

"Right now?" he asked 

She just closed her eyes and took a breath, not answering. 

"You can't be here? Or you can't be with me?" he tried again

"Emily, please" his voice a whisper. 

"Yes, no"  she dropped hid hands "I don't know"

He tried to catch her hands but she stopped him "you have to let me go" 

 She gave him one last look before walking out the door and shutting it quietly behind her. Emily paused a moment just outside the door. Leaning her forehead against the wood. Feeling her breath bounce back at her with every exhale. She heard the squeak of Morgan's door opening but didn't turn to look. She didn't give her a chance to open her mouth or pull her in. Emily simply straightened up, turned around, and walked out.

    Allen watched her leave, cursing himself. His heart just walked out the door. And he just let it happen. No, he made it happen. All of the words of apology, all the admitting of guilt, all of the begging for forgiveness. They found their way to his tongue now. He hit his knees, fingers digging into the armchair. He heard the click of Cookie's nails and let himself smile. 

     The first thing they had done after the wedding, after moving in and getting settled. Emily had all but dragged him to the animal shelter. They spent the first half of the day looking at any and all dogs that were there. He had teased her at first but melted at her crooked smile. 

She had said "Everyone needs a little love"

Which was why when she gave him those big doe eyes he couldn't say no to the shaggy white mop of of fur now curled in his lap. 

 He scratched behind her ears and stared at the door. He let himself cry. They would both be waiting for her to come home.