Unconditional Love (Gonkillu)

Chapter 8

A few minutes after Killua left, Gon finished his food, he silently stood up took his plate and Killua's, dumped the leftovers and washed the plates, as he did his mind roamed over what happened a while ago, did he upset Killua? Did he mess up their friendship? He was sure that Killua enjoyed it but what if he still felt uncomfortable?

- Shit... Now what do I do? - the black haired male mumbled to himself staring blankly at the dishes - Should I... Talk to him about it? - he took his glance towards the stairs, he felt that he had really messed up and was beating himself up over it - Shit Gon... Why don't you ever think before acting?! - he smacked his wet palm against his forehead and winced a little at the stinging pain, he placed his hand again at the edge of the washer and stood there, just staring down at the clean dishes. The boys jaw tensed and he clenched his fist, the thoughts of what happened a while ago were hammering in his head and he was debating on whether or not to talk about it with Killua - Fuck it I'll just talk to him about it - with that said, he turned on his heels and hurried towards the stairs and up to his room, his mind was so fogged up over the thought of what he would tell Killua that he forgot to knock before opening the door.

The boy slammed the door opened just to be received by a very naked Killua who instantly noticed him due to the loud thud that the door made when it hit the wall, both boys turned red and Killua quickly covered his torso with the towel grabbing a pillow and tossing it at the raven haired male.

- Don't look!! Get out!! - the pillow flew towards Gon who broke out of his daze and slammed the door shut causing the pillow to crash against it and slide down to the floor.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! - the raven haired male closed his eyes tight leaning on the door, he let himself slide slowly until his butt hit the ground and he slide both of his hands into his hair pulling on it softly - Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid - he reprimanded himself silently hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand until a red mark was left on it.

Killua on the other hand was left paralyzed, his whole face was tainted in red as he stared at the door silently, he walked slowly towards the door and grabbed the pillow that was laying infront of it, he pressed his ear against the door and heard Gon cussing silently at himself, this lead to make Killua giggle softly as he walked away and quickly began to get dressed.

- You can.. come in now - the white haired male sat at the edge of the bed already dressed, he was wearing a simple red sleeveless shirt a necklace and something black that covered his elbows (idk what that is called I'm sorry :c) a pair of light and dark green pants and black slippers.

The door creaked as it opened slowly, Gon walked in the room closing the door behind him a bit hesitant, he was nervous, very nervous, he thought that Killua would throw a tantrum at him for not knocking, but alas, the white haired male only sat silent staring at Gon who refused to lock gazes with him, he felt his heart beat so loudly that in all the silence he could hear it beating in his head.

Gon could feel the silence in the room chew him up from the outside in, he took a deep shaky breath and finally brought his gaze towards Killua's who blushed a little and averted his own.

- Killua... sorry about tha—

- It's fine, you don't need to apologise - the boy interrupted taking a deep sigh - It was my fault for not locking the door anyways - Gon scratched his neck and slowly walked towards Killua.

- Well okay... - he looked at the window, the same direction where Killua was staring at - I... Also wanted to talk about what happened earlier - Killua felt his body tense up, he averted his gaze towards his hands that rested on his tighs, he clenched on to his pants and a pink hue crossed his pale cheeks - I wasn't thinking right, I don't know what went over me - he continued talking - I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable I didn't—

- It's fine... - he tightened his grip more on his pants - I... I wasn't bothered by it... Nor was I uncomfortable - Gon opened his eyes wide and took a step back slightly surprised.

- T-then... Why were you acting so weird just a few minouts ago? - Killua brought his gaze up to meet with Gon's hazel eyes, both boys were blushing intensely and their heartbeats were strong.

- I-I was m-mad! - he stood up catching Gon off guard, he stared down at Killua confused yet somewhat surprised - I though you were just being a dick and toying around with me to then just brush it off like nothing happened! - Gon stood silent, taken back by Killua's words - I-I don't know what's going on in my head... But what we did meant something to me... And it's weird and awkward because I feel this way towards you!! You're my best friend how could I even be having these weird embarrassing emotions towards you??!! - his eyes began to tear up, Gon's heart sank when he saw the young albino like that - The way you touched me... How it made me feel - he hugged himself, Gon had the painful urge to hug him... But he felt as if it wasn't the best moment - I c-can't let this get to me!! I don't want this to mess up our friendship - he cleaned the tears that were trickling down his cheeks - So let's just forget about it and act like nothing happened - Gon grabbed Killua's shoulders pulling him in his tight embrace, Killua stood shocked with his face red and his eyes wide open.

- Killua... I... I don't want to pretend like nothing happened - his voice quivered, Killua's breath hitched and his pupils trembled - I was just really nervous because I thought I had made you feel uncomfortable - he let go of Killua and looked at him - but if that's what you want then I'll respect your decision - he sighed, Killua stood speechless.

- Let's just pretend like nothing happened... I need time to... to clear my mind and know how I really feel - Gon felt his heart crush at Killua's words, but still smiled even though he felt hurt.

On the other hand, Killua didn't understand why he said that, he knew perfectly how he felt but then... Why did he just say that, he knew he had hurt Gon even though he was brushing it off and smiling, but Killua could see the hurt in his eyes, and this made him kind of regret what he said, but at the same time he thought, if he and Gon ever started dating his family would be really mad, first of all because he knew his dad wouldn't accept his son being gay and second, they never liked Gon in the first place, he didn't know why, Gon is so fun and lovable, he's so kind  and sweet, but they simply didn't like him, they accept him as Killua's friend but that doesn't mean they are okay with it, the only ones in the family who actually like Gon are Gotoh, Alluka and Zeno, they were at least the most considerate ones that Killua could trust and the ones who actually appreciated Gon.

- Okay, I understand - his voice quivered a little - I'm gonna take a nap, I'm really tired - Killua knew he was lying, he knew that Gon only wanted to prevent himself from crying infront of him since his eyes were begining to get teary.

Killua noded slowly and Gon walked towards the bunk bed laying on the bed on the bottom, Killua stood on the middle of the room looking at Gon who had his back turned towards him, he let out a shaky sigh and walked towards the bed he climbed the stairs and layed on the bed on top closing his eyes.

On the bottom bed Gon was covering his mouth to muffle his sobs, the warm tears trickled down his cheeks and his face was red from the pressure he was making to not let out his sobs, he thought that he was overreacting but could help it, he really wanted Killua, he needed him more that ever, he wanted to have Killua between his arms, to kiss and hug him, to tell him how much he loved him, but alas, Killua didn't seem to want that, and this hurt Gon deeply, but he would give Killua his time to clear his thoughts, he didn't want to rush him and risk the possibility of Killua making any hasty desitions due to pressure, so he preferred to wait, even if it hurt him.

To be continued

Sorry I've taken so long guys :( I know this chapter is not very good :( but I've gone through some shit recently, but don't worry! I'm better now and more than eager to continue my stories and to make them more exciting :) don't forget to vote and comment that always motivates me :3 till next time!