I Think I Kinda, You Know | Joshua Bassett

21 - Going Home

I wake up at 4 am in the morning. I can't sleep. The thought of Josh and Olivia is still stuck inside my head.

I almost cried last night, just lying on my bed. It fucking hurts. The only guy I've always known my entire life, that one guy I've fallen in love with, the only guy who's always been there for me through ups and downs, is in love with someone else.

My flight is at 10 today. Josh told me yesterday he'll drop me off at the airport and I don't know how I feel about it.

I can't go back to sleep. I want to, but I can't. I go to my Instagram and other social media for about like half an hour. Then I decide to pack my stuff since I still have some things to pack.

I put my phone on the night stand and get up, when suddenly my phone dings.

I'm about to flip out. How does he know? Seriously. How does he know I'm awake? It's like he knows I can't sleep thinking about him being all romantic with Olivia. And why is he awake? I'm so confused right now. Is he like... Stalking me?

But I really don't feel like texting him right now so I just leave my phone and start packing.

I have my clothes literally everywhere. It's probably gonna take long to pack all of my stuff.

I pack until it's around 6. Then I take a shower and get ready.

It's almost 7 now. I was blasting music and drying my hair with the hairdryer when I hear a knock on the door.

I open the door revealing Josh's face.

"Hey," he starts.

"You didn't text me you were gonna come now."

"Well... You didn't even read my text I sent you at like 4."

He comes in and I close the door.

"Uh yeah. Sorry about that. I didn't finish packing yesterday so I still had to pack my stuff. But who sends a text at 4 in the morning?" I laugh. I'm kinda not in the mood to talk to him but I'm trying my best not to show it.

"I mean... You were awake. And I couldn't sleep, so..."

I don't know which one is more surprising. The fact that he knew I was awake, or the fact that he couldn't sleep too. What could possibly keep him up?

"How'd you know I was awake?" I ask, raising one eyebrow.

"I saw you were online on your Instagram. That's why I texted you."

"Yeah. Sorry I just... I have a lot of things in my mind."

"Is everything okay? Is it about your parents?"

"No. It's... Complicated."

I should've said yes and lied about it.

"Do you want to talk about it?"