I Think I Kinda, You Know | Joshua Bassett

1 - Where It All Started

Yeah about that last part... Nobody, I mean nobody, knows about it. My classmate who is also my other best friend, Abby, doesn't know about this either. She's like my most trusted friend ever besides Joshua. I should probably tell her but... I'm trying to hold my feelings for him anyway so there's kinda no point in telling her.

I just can't fall in love with him, okay? He's my best friend and I don't want to ruin that.

"Josh, you seriously need to stop worrying. You know you'll get the part."

He has his lunch in front of him that he hasn't even touched. He keeps bouncing his feet like he really needs to go to the toilet.

"I still haven't got the phone call, alright? It's been 5 weeks. I don't think I got the part."

"You will get it, okay? Maybe they're still looking for other characters," I convince him. He lets out a sigh and looks away.

"Trust me on this. You did amazing on your audition. You have so much talent. They're fucking blind if they didn't cast you."

He doesn't answer.

"Remember when you got your first acting job ever? When you were 8?"

He starts to look at me again.

"The one you told me at school while jumping up and down?" I continue. "You'd run around school, telling people that you're going to become famous and that you're playing this character called-"

"J.V. Jock Number 2," we say together in unison. He smiles.

"Yeah. I remember. That's... Actually pretty embarrassing," he laughs a little, looking down at his feet. His cheeks turn red in embarrassment.

"See? 8 year old you could do it. I'm sure you'll get casted. You have nothing to worry about. There's literally not a single thing that you can't do. You just have to believe in yourself," I say.

"Yeah... I guess."

It's always great to be able to make him laugh, or at least smile at situations like this. I hate it when his mood is down.

We eat our lunch and talk about things which makes him forget the things that keep him worried. After lunch we go to our fifth period which is Math for me and English for Josh.

Not to be negative or anything but I bet Josh is not paying attention in class right now. I bet he's thinking about it again. This has happened so many times. Every time I ask him 'how was school' or something like that he'd just reply with 'great', which is so not him. He would literally tell me everything that happens from when the bell rings at 8 until when it rings again at 3. Every detail of it.

I just hope whoever it is that's supposed to notify him will do it faster. He's already such a mess.

***

School's over. When I walk out of my class, Josh was already out, waiting for me by the door, leaning against the wall while going through his phone.

"Hey," I say to him. He looks up from his phone to make eye contact with me.

"Hi. Um... can I go to your house?"

"Uh yeah sure. Is... Everything okay?" I ask.

"Oh yeah everything's fine. I just... Wanna spend more time with you."

That last sentence comes out more like a question.

"Okay. My parents aren't home anyway, so..."