Undeserving of Your Sympathy (Frerard)

8. Falling in Love Will Kill You

I'm not okay at all. In fact, I've been feeling suicidal, but that's okay. Writing and music is my therapy for me. I'm not sure if I'll last much longer than four months.

but enjoy the chapter :)

It was again time for the weekly session with Dr. Toro. Last night Gerard, Mikey and their mother barely got any sleep. Mikey hugged Gerard telling him not to do anything dangerous and don't pull out his stitches.

"Oh, and don't forget to take your meds."

"I won't"

"I know you won't forget bro." Mikey smiled checking his watch and heading to school.

Their mom also was very friendly in the morning. She made Gerard's favorite pancakes. He hadn't had pancakes in ten years. He missed it.

She left for work kissing Gerard and then Gerard went upstairs and threw up the food. It felt awful. He looked at himself in the mirror. You're ugly. Fat.

Gerard frowned at his thoughts and then left for Dr. Toro. He remembered the reminder he wrote down so he wasn't going to talk to his therapist.

He walked in and shortly after he arrived.

"Hello Gerard. How are you today?"

Gerard shrugged.

"What happened to your forehead?"

"I fell."

"Some nasty fall. Hope it gets better."

Gerrad just nodded.

"I like your new hairstyle. It's very different."

Gerard nodded again.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Ray said, "You're awfully quiet. What's going on?"

Don't open up to him. Okay, well maybe you can mention Frank.

Gerard started signing about Frank. Only saying how they are officially dating and his parents are really nice.

"That's good. So, are you taking your pills? Are you eating enough?"

Gerard nodded and Ray believed him most likely because he had never lied to Ray before and this was the first time.

"That's good Gerard. You still have your job at the mall?"

"I switched to be with Frank."

"Do you think that's a good idea? You'll have to communicate more."

"Anything for Frank."

Then some more silence until Ray said something he had never said the whole two years of therapy.

"Do you like how you look?"

If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can experience firsthand what it's like to be me. That's what Gerard wanted to say. He was taken back by the question but he nodded as casually as he could.

"Ok Gerard, lately you've been a bit off. I don't know what it is, but I'm hoping it's good change. Remember, I'm here to help. Tell me anything."

The rest of the session Gerard sat doing nothing but playing with his hair.

When it was time, Gerard signed thank you as he left for work. 

When he arrived, he first stopped by to say hello to Bert. He noticed a guy was there and overheard he was named Awsten. Gerard was glad Bert actually had a friend to "talk to" at the store.