the boy on the bridge ✔️

41. gay boy

Chapter 41 — gay boy

By some unexpected grace, Josh has been able to elude his father altogether by rarely ever staying in his house — not that his father is even in the house in the first place. Josh has his school work, projects, soccer practices, nightly dates with Elliot (of course), while his father has his work, work and work.

However, Josh knew that he can't be avoiding his father for long, especially since Thanksgiving is fast approaching. It is only during the festivities that the Goldmanns get together in their house and spend their time together. After all they have to keep up the picturesque image of a perfect family and what better time to do that if not during the holidays.

Josh dreads those days in particular — his father will actually take a short leave and stay at home, his mother will prepare meals, instead of ordering takeouts, and his sister, still holding on to the hope of a functional happy family, will try to make the best of the time together. Josh can only imagine what this year's holidays had in store them — one thing Josh is certain of is that it will be nothing good.

Josh's mother, on the other hand, her response was nothing but shocking to him in a good way. This happened a few days back, actually on the day that everyone in his school got to know about him.

Since almost everyone in his school already knows, Josh was certain that his parents had to know too. He contemplated staying away from his house altogether, but immediately chided himself. He was tired of hiding, that's why he came out in the first place. What good would it do know for him to run away?

And so, he stepped into his house, expecting the absolute worst. His father wasn't at home as usual, and his sister was at her friend's so it was only him and his mother. He was expecting her anger, hurt, sadness, disappointment, but what greeted him was far, far better than he could have ever imagined.

Delightful smell wafted into his nostrils as soon as he opened the door and Josh's stomach started grumbling even though he'd just wolfed down a packet of biscuits he'd gotten from a vending machine. Tentatively he followed the aroma to the kitchen where his mother stood, an apron tied around her waist, gloves on her hands and she took out a steaming hot pan of his favourite chicken pot pie.

Josh's salivary glands got to work from just seeing the dish. His mother noticed him standing at the kitchen entrance and smiled at him gently. She asked him if he was hungry, and they both dined together, making small talks. Josh expected it to be awkward, having no memory of spending time alone with his mother, but weirdly it felt comfortable, normal — so normal that it felt special. And not once did she mention anything about his sexuality; Josh wondered if she was waiting for him to tell her himself.

And then later when helping her clean the dishes, he told her.

"Mom, I'm gay,"

Josh couldn't remember the last time he called his mother, mom. He'd always felt detached from his parents that he only called them father or mother — it was more respectful. Respect, that's all he had ever held for his parents — they bore him, and brought him up and for that he'd always respect them. This was the first time he felt something different from his mother, and he had no idea just how much he'd yearned for it that it brought tears to his eyes.

And not wanting to break down in front his mother, he didn't even wait for a reply from his mother and went up to his room.

A few minutes later, he heard his room door creak open and the lights were flicked on. He peeked out from under his blanket and saw that it was his mother. Rubbing his eyes to rid of the tears that had fallen despite his best attempt to keep them at bay, he sat up, keeping his gaze focused on his lap until he felt a pair of warm arms wrap around him.

"Oh, Josh," his mother breathed out, and then a few seconds later pulled back, keeping him at arm-length. And then fixing her dark grey eyes on his light blue ones, she said, "I love you, and I will always love you, no matter what,"

A single tear slipped out of her eye, and just as she wiped that one, another fell. Josh's own eyes started welling up as well, and he pulled his mom in for another embrace. They held onto each other tight.

"You're my son, and forever will be my son, Joshua," she said against his shoulders, stroking the back of his hear, "I love you,"

"I love you too, mom," Josh said sniffling, not aware just how much he valued he needed and wanted her support, "Thank you,"

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