the boy on the bridge ✔️

47. comeback boy

Chapter 47 — comeback boy

Both of the boys somehow fall asleep on the mountain — Elliot had wept while Josh held him in his arms and then they lied down, the dark-haired boy on Josh's chest. Through the tears Elliot had slept and a little while later Josh had too.

Josh wakes up with the sun, one of his arms still around Elliot's back — he is still asleep, and Josh doesn't want to wake him up, so he stays still. He angles his head down so he can see the boy's face — he seems troubled even then, sadness weighing in on his usually calm features. Josh wishes for nothing more than to take all his pain away.

Elliot has been such a jovial person around him — always smiling, cracking jokes, laughing; that Josh never even suspected there could be such a tragedy he'd been through. He'd been putting on a mask all this while and Josh had just believed it; however, Elliot, he had always paid attention to him, been able to tell if he was feeling low, tensed, sad.

Has Josh always been this self-involved?

How could he have not seen that Elliot had been hurting too?

Josh remembers all the time the dark-haired boy had shied away from the topics about his family, not talking much about from before he moved to Willowcreeks — maybe he should have paid more attention, maybe he should have not been so focused on his more problems and let Elliot talk about his too.

Unconsciously he has started stroking the boy's cheeks with his free hand, and it isn't long before Elliot stirs awake. Josh quickly retracts his hand, embarrassed.

"Oh hey,"

"Hey," Elliot croaks out, sitting up.

Josh sits up as well, and then looks around them awkwardly, not sure what to say next. Not that he doesn't have anything to say — there are thousands of things racing through his mind at the moment, but he doesn't want to mess anything up by saying the wrong thing. It still rings in his ears — the last words Elliot said, before he'd just broken down completely in front of him.

I killed my own brother. I pushed him to his own death.

How can he think that? It isn't in any way his fault. Josh doesn't know how to approach the topic, so he just dumbly asks.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay," the curly-haired boy shrugs, running his fingers through his curly-hair that sat like a nest on top of his head.

"El-," Josh starts, but gets cut off.

"I really am okay. Don't worry," he smiles — a fake one, Josh can tell.

He is shutting him out. He is putting on a mask again. Josh knows, because that's what he'd been doing before this boy came around. And Elliot is the first one he willingly opened up to, and he is the only one Josh doesn't feel the need to be anyone but himself. It upsets him that Elliot is still shutting him out after everything, even after telling him what had really happened back at his home — but he swallows the hurt.

Josh just has to prove to Elliot that he'll be there for him no matter what. He maybe needs some time and space after recalling all the events — maybe that is why he didn't open up before; it still hurt him. Of course, it hurt; he lost his twin brother to an accident and he is blaming himself for it.

Josh has to show him that he understands.

However, before Josh can say anything at all, Elliot stands up, brushing his pants, "We should get going. Your parents are going to be mad at you. Come on,"

As if I care, Josh rolls his eyes, but stands up too. "Yeah," he nods, when all he wants to say is: No, I want to be with you. Let me be there for you.