the boy on the bridge ✔️

46. flashback boy

Chapter 46 — flashback boy

Where are you, Elliot? Josh is beyond worried and is on the edge of venturing into state of insanity as he searches for a certain dark-haired boy.

He goes by his place, but his aunts tell him that he didn't even enter and just took off shortly after he left — that sends a pang of guilt through Josh. Why didn't he just stay and listen? He tells her he'll try to find him — no, he has to find him — and leaves, cursing silently under his breath.

He doesn't quite mind cursing anymore; it is strangely relaxing using all the cuss words to express his anger, his annoyance. And then he rides to the bridge, but Elliot isn't there either. Even then he decides to stay for a few minutes in case he shows up.

He drags a hand down his face, exhausted — where are you? Deciding there is no time to waste, he picks up his bicycle once again, riding to all the places he can think that he may have gone to — the streets near the restaurant they've last gone to, the playground they've once sneaked off to in the wee hours, the drive-in theatre, even Elliot's aunts' bakery. The boy isn't at any one of those places, so Josh rides back to the bridge, hoping vainly he'll be there this time.

He isn't.

Josh sinks to the ground, feeling defeated. Why things can't for once work out in his favour, he wonders. He racks his brain for any other place the boy may have gone to. His mind immediately goes to earlier that night when he saw him with that spawn of hell ex — what if he went back to him?

No, he wouldn't have, Josh snaps at his brain, even if he did, I don't care. I'm still going to find him and tell him that I'm there for him and that I lov-

Josh suddenly remembers a place he could've gone to. He slaps a hand to his forehead; how could he have forgotten that place? Josh immediately stands up and gets on his bicycle.

Just please let him be there.

⋘⋙

Brokehill.

That's where Elliot must have gone to. He has to.

Elliot and Josh had gone to that mountain on their first date, and had their first kiss. They went there a lot after that too, it quickly became a second hangout place after the bridge. Elliot stated that he used to spend a lot of his hours there like Josh did at the bridge. Josh had asked him why he didn't go the mountain anymore.

"Because I found you," Elliot had said — Josh feels so stupid for ever thinking that he didn't care about him, that he only pretended.

He can't even believe himself right then, his foolishness, how easily he jumped to conclusions just from a single action. He didn't even know what Elliot was doing with him, they could've just talked for old times' sake, and yet he had assumed the worst.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, he basically chants as he steps on his pedals faster so he can get to the mountain faster.

And by the time he reaches the top of mountain he is panting so hard his lungs threaten to give out, but even then he doesn't waste a single second, not even to catch his breath. He has to see him. The blond let outs a sigh of relief when he sees Elliot's aunt's car, not too far away. He gets off his bicycle and starts walking towards the car.

He's here.

Josh lets out a soft chuckle, relief flooding him, but within a few moments, the joy deflates, replaced with pure anxiety. He curses under his breath. He wanted to find Elliot, and he did. He wanted to see him, and in a few steps, he will. He wants to tell him so many things, and... can he?