Are you saving me? (Brallon/Ryden)

Chapter 29- Ever since we met...

Brendon's POV:

     I think of all the possible ways I could ask this question. There's really no way to describe the thoughts going on in my head. I'm thinking about Dallon. I'm thinking about suicide options. I'm also thinking about... Ryan. He's sitting in front of me, in my sweater, awaiting my question. It seems like an hour before I can actually breathe again. I take a deep breath like I just woke up from a coma.

"Ever since we met..." I hear myself choke out, "You've been great to me.." I say, still not able to talk in anything more than a whisper. "How can you still come to me after all I've done to you..?" I finally ask.

     I watch as his face falls more than it already was. He fidgets with his hands before speaking. "I.. I've never cared for anyone more in my life. It was a mistake that I left the band, but Jon guilt tripped me.. I love you with all my heart, Brendon. And truthfully, it hurt to see you with someone else.. But.. I'm sorry.." He answers in a soft whisper. It makes me angry that he thinks this is his fault. I grab him by the face and he whimpers. It's a cute whimper.

"Ryan.. don't say sorry. This isn't your fault. I forgive you for leaving the band, but that's over now anyway. Spencer already said he can't continue on without me.. That's all over now. Dallon is gone. It's just me, and you. And I love you too," I hear myself say. I don't just hear me say it, I know it's true. He's the only one left in my life that really cares.

      Ryan nods slowly, a touch of fear in his eyes. I let him go and look down. Ryan tries to sit up, but whimpers in pain, lying back down. "fuck.." He whispers and I look up.

"You okay?" I ask, slipping onto my knees on the floor. He shrugs his shoulders, but even that movement hurts him, making him cry out. My heart breaks, seeing him like this. I notice a sharp pain in my chest. I don't know why I didn't notice it before. I whimper a little but tough it out, Ryan is more important to me. I carefully stand and pick him up, carrying up the stairs to my room. I place him on my bed and he looks up at me.

"B-Brendon..?" He whispers sickly, "I'm okay.." he say, adding in a probably fake smile to male me feel better. I shake my head a little. "You need to rest. Call me if you need me. I'm gonn go make us some soup. And maybe some popcorn so we can watch a movie," I say, trying to make him smile for real. I succeed. He smiles brightly and nods. I kiss his forehead and leave to make the food.