Gravensnod (manxman)

Chapter Seven

Philo

The room was exactly the same it was four years ago, so many memories flooding into my mind. Tears flooded my eyes as I walked around the room before staring at the bed. As I carefully sat down onto the comforter I cried harder. I'll never be able to have a sleepover with my sister or hear her laugh or even hug her. Everything was gone. Everything felt numb.

As my fingers ran over the bed I fell onto my back while allowing myself to be brought back to four years ago. This very bed was where a lot changed in my life, not only physically but emotionally. I felt guilty for thinking about Alexei when I should be mourning my sister. She wasn't even in the ground yet. But if I stayed here, these kinds of memories will always be coming back. I fell for someone who didn't seem to care about me as much as I did him. Yet he was the only man I've ever thought about over the last four years, the only one I ever gave myself to. He would always be apart of me and that thought alone terrified me.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed on the bed before slowly sitting up and pulling my sweater closer to my body. My eyes found the windows I used to stare out of, dreaming of a life completely different. But now that it was, where would I even go? For so long I wanted to go explore the world and be far away from where I grew up. Now I had no idea what I wanted to go but I wish I had a home.

My fingers ran along the walls before sadly smiling around the room. More tears were flowing down my cheeks when I looked towards the wall where Louise's room was. I knew I wasn't strong enough to go in there but hopefully some day I would be.

I stayed in that room for so long that the sun was starting to set a little. With one final glance around I opened the door and was surprised to see an empty hallway. I simply started walking and before I knew it I was outside the kitchen. Luckily no one seemed to notice as I slipped in and grabbed a piece of bread before leaving. Since no one was currently in the dining room, I wandered in and sat by the window.

"Hello."

I jumped and almost fell off the window ledge when the voice filled the room. Here I was thinking I was alone. My hand landed onto my heart as I turned to see a small girl smiling at me. I immediately knew she was Alexei's daughter from the pictures I've seen over the years. But she was so much cuter in person and dammit, she looked so much like her father. Her hair was black just like his and her blue eyes were just like the ocean. She was currently dressed in a pale yellow dress, her feet bare as she held two cupcakes.

She must've seen the way I jumped because her smile faded. "I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry."

"No worries," I said with a smile. "I was just lost in thought."

I watched as she walked closer and placed the cupcakes down before smiling a large smile up at me. "I'm Agatha."

"Nice to meet you Agatha, I'm Philo."

She smiled before hoisting herself up onto the window ledge. "I've heard my dad talk about you."

Oh god, what has he said about me? Little children seemed to listen to all the things their parents said, and never seemed to forget. I watched her nod before saying, "He's talked about you for a long time. He said your sister was Ms. Louise." Her smile faded as she said, "Daddy told me she's in a better place now. I'm sorry Philo."

I sadly smiled while resting my head against the window. "Thank you."

"He told me you looked just like Ms. Louise and you do."

"Did he say anything else?"

"He told me you guys were very close but you were traveling." She moved some hair out of her eyes before saying, "But I've heard him say he wishes he had another day with you. What does that mean?"