Dear Virgil Hansen

Waving Through A Window

Virgil walks through the halls, school hasn't started yet. He wanders awkwardly on the edge of the hallways. He wants to speak to some of the people he recognizes, but he doesn't.

I've learned to slam on the brake, before I even turn the key. Before I make the mistake, before I lead with the worst of me...

Emile Picani walks up briskly then, "Hello," he says quickly, "How was your summer?"

"Oh," Virgil says, glad for someone to talk to, "My summer was-"

"Mine was productive," Emile says distractedly. "I did a lot of volunteer work, and took a trip to New York."

"Oh, that's-"

"What happened to your arm?" He gestures to Virgil's cast.

"Oh, it's a funny story actually, I-"

"I have to go now." Emile waves, "Have a great first day!"

"You too..." Virgil mumbles as Emile hurries away.

Give them no reason to stare, no slipping up if you slip away...
So I got nothing to share...No, I got nothing to say...
Step out, step out of the sun if you keep getting burned. Step out, step out of the sun, because you've learned, because you've learned...

Virgil looks around the hall, he envies the people around him. They make it look effortless, the way they just talk to each other.

On the outside, always looking in, will I ever be more than I've always been? 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass, I'm waving through a window.
I try to speak, but nobody can hear, so I wait around for an answer to appear, while I'm watch, watch, watching people pass, I'm waving through a window, oh. Can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me?

He remembers how easy it used to be, when making friends was as easy as having the same favorite color. Now, it's something entirely more complicated. And, at this point in time, nearly impossible...high schoolers don't really make new friends at this point, all the cliques have already formed. And once you're dubbed a nobody, you're never gonna shake that title.

We start with stars in our eyes. We start believing that we belong, but every sun doesn't rise, and no one tells you where you went wrong...

Suddenly Vigil sees a face he knows better than the rest, he smiles, grateful for the sudden appearance.

"Remy!" He calls to the taller boy, "Remy! Hey, what's up?"

"Why are you talking to me Hansen?" Remy says as he leans against the lockers in that infuriatingly casual way he does, he takes a sip from the coffee cup in his hand.

"Because we're friends?" Virgil gives a lame little half-cautious smile.

Remy rolls his eyes, "We're family friends. Not real friends. We only talk because our parents are friends." He notices Virgil's cast then, he lets out a laugh, "Well, well, well, Hansen." He laughs again, "How does it feel to be the first person ever to break their arm from excessive masturbation?" He absolutely loses it at his own joke.

Step out, step out of the sun if you keep getting burned. Step out, step out of the sun, because you've learned, because you've learned...

"That's not what happened!" Virgil says hurriedly, face turning red, "It's actually a really funny story-" Remy quirks an eyebrow "-You see I had this internship at the wilderness, park and one day I was climbing a tree, and the branch gave in and I fell, and it's funny because- because I was, uh, sitting there and I kept thinking someone would come and get me. I just kept thinking 'any second now,' and no one came."

When you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around, do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around, do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around, do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around, do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?

Remy sighs, "That is probably the saddest goddamn thing I've ever heard in my life, Hansen. He punches Virgil on the arm, "Later." Then he walks off to join the other people who aren't trapped behind a closed window of opportunity.

It's like I never made a sound. Will I ever make a sound?

On the outside, always looking in, will I ever be more than I've always been?
'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass, waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear, so I wait around for an answer to appear, while I'm watch, watch, watching people pass, waving through a window, oh
Can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me? Is anybody waving?
Waving, waving...