Rescuing Atticus

Doing the right thing

Song: I wish you didn't love me- Jake Miller

I find myself taking her home. I open the door and help her get out of the car. She is two sheets to the wind and stumbling over her feet. At first she leans into me so that I can help with her balance but then I just sweep her up in my arms and carry her the rest of the way in. I climb the stair case all the way to the fifth floor and then put her down on her feet so that I can dig through her purse to find her house keys. I have never seen so much junk in a freaking purse. After digging for what seemed like forever I fetch the damn keys out and unlock the door.

I pick her back up in my arms and carry her into the dark house. I fumble for the light switch and once I flip it up the room lights up just enough for me to see where I am going. She is giggling and moving around so much in my arms that I nearly drop her. I manage to get down the hallway with her still in my arms.

The bedroom door is open and I put her down softly on her bed. She rolls over and continues to laugh. I grab one foot and slide off her high heal and then reach for the other foot to take the other one off. However in the process she kicks at me lightly, playing around and by the time I wrestle with her to get the damn thing off, I fall next to her. She smiles and climbs on top of me. Her hair falls gracefully downward towards me and it covers everything around her in my line of vision so that all I see is her amazing face. God she is so freaking beautiful.

 I let her playfully pin me down, placing both her hands down on my chest. I look up at her with a shit eating grin. She leans down and kisses me softly on the lips and then she makes little kisses all the way down my neck and towards my chest. She captures one nipple between her teeth and playfully bites me. She grins up at me and then comes back up to kiss my lips while she continues to giggle.

I kiss her back, letting my tongue slide between her warm wet lips. She granted me the access to her tongue and when she pulled away she started to take off her top. God I wanted her so bad. I admire every little curve and the pure softness of her skin. I bite my tongue for only a second and then whisper to her. "Don't ever fall in love with me Stella."

She looks down at me with a crooked smile; her face puzzled by the thought. "What if I do?"

As I sit up, I push her away from me and stare down at the space between her and I. "I'm not who you need. I will never be the right one for you."

She reaches down to cup my jaw and guides me back up to look at her. There is so much love and kindness in her eyes. She just stares at me for a few seconds as if she is trying to look deep into my soul. I watch as her lips slowly part and her tongue skims her upper lip. "What if you are the one for me?"

I just shake my head at the thought. I can't get her mixed into this life of mine. I already lost my first true love to this damn job and I won't lose her too. "I'm...." I shake my head again."I'm not who you think I am. I'm a monster Stella...believe me you don't want to fall in love with me."

She shakes her head back at me, mimicking me. She leans closer into me and kisses my lips. Damn why does she have to taste so good. "Fine...I won't fall in love with you for now." She starts to giggle and I know it's all the liquor in her body.

I should be turned on and a part of me is but this is not how I want to be with her. I slide her off of me and she falls softly over onto the bed. I stand up and zip my pants back up and start to button my shirt up. Her hands reach up and grab my hands. "Where are you going? I thought you wanted this as much as I did?"

"Stella...I'm not going to lie about it, I do want you but you are wasted and if we do this you will be sorry about it in the morning." The last thing that I want to do is leave but I know if I stay and do what I want to do to her she will either be really pissed off at me or fall madly in love with me. Either way neither are good.

"No I won't...Atticus...come on, please stay the night." She looks up at me with this pouty sad face. She is so freaking horny and it's driving me crazy. I lean in and kiss her on the forehead.

 "Believe me you will thank me tomorrow...good night Stella."

I thought she would be ok with me not going through with it but however she shoves me hard knocking me back a step. "Just go Atticus...go on get out of here. You are a freaking monster you know that. You don't just bring a girl to her bed and not do anything. You got my hopes all up that finally we are going to have this one intimate moment and you...you go and fuck it all up. I just wanted to have a little piece of you. Why can't you just fuck me like every other man?"

I breathe in deeply, biting my tongue harder, just hard enough that I actually taste my own blood. I want to pound so deep inside of her and make her scream out my name. I want her down on her knees and suck the life out of me. I want...

The inside of me starts to heat up and I feel like there is another part of me that wants to take over. A part of me that wants to come out and not only make lover to her but wants to hurt her for saying that I should fuck her like every other man. I am not like them. I am not like the dick that abused her and I will not be that man to her. It takes everything in me to turn and walk away from her.

There is a softness that hits my back and when I turn to look down at the pillow on the floor at my feet she yells at me again. "Fucking prick." And then she falls back to the bed and cries in her other pillow.

I on the other hand pick up the pillow off the floor and set it on top of the dresser and walk out the door. Yeah...I may be a fucking prick but I can't do this to her. I head home and once there I crash.

The next day I get up and do the usual stuff. I do the whole morning workout with the guys and then head down to the café to see her. Unfortunately she is not there. I run by her house and bring her breakfast. I knock several times and she doesn't answer. I set the food down on the floor and then pick the lock. I go in and the place looks like it did the night before. I walk down the hallway towards her bedroom. I call out so that I don't scare her. "It's just me...Atticus...bringing you breakfast in bed."

I get to the bedroom door and use my foot to open the door. "Please don't shoot me...I come with a peace offering...breakfast." However when the door opens all the way up she is nowhere to be found; I set the cups and the bag of muffins down on the dresser. I walk to the bathroom thinking she might be in there but she is gone. I go back into the bedroom to grab the food and take back to the kitchen and leave on the counter with a note. Then I head out for the day. I search down the streets and nothing.

Where the hell are you Stella?